What your truck says about your service

How can you tell when your buddy got the reenlistment bonus? Nine times out of ten, it's a new truck or some sweet upgrade for an existing truck (and for your one friend who doesn't own a truck, it's a new spoiler. But that's a different story).

We love driving trucks in the military. We love talking about them, fixing them, washing them. We even love writing articles about them. And, because we also love stereotypes in the military, we're going to put the two together to bring you:

What your truck says about your service: (You're welcome)

The Restored Truck

Your 1972 Ford F100 has 8 cylinders of glory and it's just enough to get you to and from your regular barber for your high and tight every 16 days. You've souped up and restored every part of it, but there's a dent on the left side door that you can afford to fix but choose not to because you like to tell the story: It's where the deer hit you when you were driving 80 down the highway outside your small town to go enlist. The buck gets bigger every time you share that memory, but it always ends the same: “That deer bounced right off my truck and I didn't even flinch, I was so focused on serving my country. I told that deer, 'Don't mess with a Marine, brah!' OORAH.”

The Teched-Out Truck

We know the Air Force likes the nicest things and the fanciest tech and the latest developments. From your drones to your gaming systems, is it any wonder that your truck would be exempt from your high standards? Plus, you're going to need that 3D rendering of terrains and buildings the navigational off-road system offers when you go to such hardship spots as Colorado Springs and Tampa. And you'll probably appreciate the extra cab space for your golf clubs. We've got 10:1 odds your ascot matches the interior.

The All-American Truck

That perfect, dusty red pickup that looks like it's straight out of a cornfield or a Budweiser shoot or a country music video, complete with a golden retriever wearing a star-spangled bandana riding shotgun, could only belong to you, soldier. Your girl will take good care of it while you're off fighting terrorists as only the Army can. Thank you for your service and for feeding into every commercial ever made about trucks and the military.

The Shiny, Big Truck

Yes, Sir, Master Chief! We're so proud of you, too. We know you were hoping for the 2020 Super Chief to be on the line so you could park that giant beast next to the XO's adorable Prius and all the aviators' jeeps, but alas, just like making the list, you're going to have to wait. Like most things in the Navy, opting for bigger isn't always better, but whatever floats your boat (see what we did there? Ships?). We can see you coming in your Dodge Ram 2500 from miles away. Oh well. You'll always have Bin Laden.

The Unnoticeable Truck

Yeah, sorry, Coast Guard, we're talking about you. At least you got mentioned in the story? The truck you're driving is so generic we don't even know what make or model it is. Until one of your peeps jumps out of it while it's on the open road going 100+ mph and leaps onto a drug smuggler's vehicle like a badass and finds $17 million worth of nose candy. And then EVERYONE will talk about you and your truck. Let's finally admit it: You are the heroes we need and don't deserve.

Whether you're driving an old Chevy, a brand new Ford or something in between, your truck says a lot about you. Let it say even more with the incredible products from Ronin Factory. From bullet antennas to distressed flag decals and even pin-up girl air fresheners, Ronin Factory has something for every truck. Use their military discount to take 10% off your order today.

This post was sponsored by Ronin Factory.