It's that time of the year, you know: hot dog heavy cookouts; a metric shit-ton of light beer stacked neatly in the shape of the American flag at your nearby supermarket; fireworks and trigger warnings about fireworks and rants about trigger warnings about fireworks; American flag-printed clothing in every size and shape, from two-sizes too small booty shorts, and full on adult onesies; and of course the endless stampede of social media posts depicting the Stars and Stripes, bald eagles, presidents, U.S. troops, and random celebrities wearing some version of a spangly outfit.

We're talking about Independence Day.

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