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The life of a tactical dude gets lonely from time to time. While everyone else is obsessing over presidential elections, “The Bachelorette,” and kale salads, the tactical dude thinks only about the day when he can return to the battlefield and put his sick combat skills to good use. But what to do in the meantime? Well, for starters, he can call 1-900-TAC-TALK, a hotline for bearded gunslingers who want to talk to real life special operators about their deepest, darkest, top secrets.

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