When you gotta go, you gotta go. Maybe you’re stuck in traffic, or waiting in line for hologram Harambe concert tickets, or stranded on post in some country that’s always too hot or too cold, like porridge that’s plotting to kill you. Or you’re just fucking lazy.

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U.S. Navy photo by Chief Master-at-Arms Tony Guyette

There are always differences between service members’ experiences. You’ve got soldiers, Marines, airmen, sailors, and coasties; grunts and POGs; officers and enlisted; short-timers and lifers; the list goes on. But there are some things we all have in common, something even deeper than a shared sense of duty, and a love of country — like, way deeper, a rumbling way down, in the colon.

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