The U.S. issued a stark warning to Beijing on Thursday, as Chinese militarization of the South China Sea creates a potential flashpoint in a longstanding battle for control of the Pacific.

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Korean Central News Agency/Korea News Service via AP

My imagined transcript of the exchange in Beijing between Chinese President Xi Jinping and North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un:

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Photo via the Marine Corps History Division Archives

Some things never change, and in the Marine Corps, an institution where upholding tradition is the order of the day, this is doubly true. I’m not talking about eagles, globes, and anchors, immaculate uniforms, or having a high-and-tight, no, I mean the real traditions: the never-ending grunts versus pogs dispute, service rivalries, drunken shenanigans on leave or in the barracks. These staples of the Corps aren’t new, and they’ve provided ample material to enlisted Marines-turned-biting-satirists for nearly a century.

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