For a veteran or service member, getting asked “which service is right for me?” is a lot like when someone asks you if they should get a burger or a salad. Looking at their gut, the correct answer is salad, but we both know they’re going to get the burger, so your opinion on this is irrelevant. Likewise, would-be enlistees are probably just going to join whichever branch their dad served in — or they’ll follow the recruiter who gives them the best swag, or accepts their horrible ASVAB score. But if you’re trying to make The Decision — like LeBron James, but for a lot less money and more disappointment — I’ve created this guide to help you along,