Task and Purpose photo illustration by Matt Battaglia
The internet is filled to the brim with random shit you can buy or build yourself, but a lot of the stuff out there just seems wildly impractical. It's kind of hard to imagine a situation in which you’d really need something like, I dunno, a beer holster.
Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.
When it comes to advice on camping, hiking, and the outdoors, the internet seems to be fairly divided into two distinct camps: There’s the hardcore survivalists who want to spend a weekend trip fending off bears with a spear they made in the woods. Then there’s the equally die-hard glampers. By glamping — which is a stupid millennial word that means glamorous or luxury camping — I’m not referring to folks who drive to a campsite, blow up an air mattress, and sleep in a tent. I mean the ones who pack solar chargers for their iPads and espresso machines, and have a tent for their dog.
The enlisted barracks always reminded me of what fraternities would be like if they weren’t affiliated with a college. The drinking often starts at the smoke pit as soon as you’re cut loose from work and usually ends with a few stragglers arguing over who gets the last beer, with one guy randomly falling over because he fell asleep standing up.