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On the last Monday of every May, Americans get a day off work to pay tribute to the millions of men and women who’ve died while serving in the U.S. military. For some, it’s a deeply somber occasion. But for many more Americans, it’s an opportunity to head to the nearest body of water, fire up the grill, and party their fucking faces off. And while nothing screams “BORN IN THE USA” like slipping into a star-spangled Speedo and chugging cans of patriotic camo Budweiser until your liver explodes, it completely misses the point. Which is why veterans usually roll their eyes when someone wishes them a “Happy Memorial Day!”

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