Click N' Play

If you've ever caught yourself wondering aloud (or more than likely, bitching to your friend, partner, or your spouse who absolutely does not care) about how military games and toys aren't realistic, then you're in luck!

Click N'Play is here to ensure 100% accuracy for those with a military action figure fetish thanks in large part to its "Military Camp Bunk House Life" action figure, which Miranda Summers Lowe surfaced on Twitter earlier this month.

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Movie star Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is now the namesake of some U.S. military muscle.

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A gentle suggestion for U.S. military public affairs officials: Not everything needs to be about "lethality."

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This graffiti from 207 A.D. was discovered at a quarry near Hadrian's Wall by archaeologists from the University of Newcastle. (University of Newcastle)

Drawing penises in the sky or on the inside of a bomber cockpit may earn you a stiff punishment in the U.S. military, but phallic graffiti is apparently a tradition as old as warfare.

A cadre of cocksure Roman soldiers deployed in 207 A.D. to repair parts of Hadrian's Wall—the 73-mile-long stone fortification erected to keep Celtic Britons at bay in the Roman empire's most northern border — apparently took time to scrawl some, uh, explicit graffiti at a nearby quarry.

Here are the turgid details, per Smithsonian:

Two shallow relief busts spotted on the rock ledge could represent self-portraits left by the soldiers, or perhaps a mocking caricature of the men's commanding officer.

A third marking is less open to interpretation.

But the unabashedly phallic symbol isn't simply a reminder of mankind's enduring juvenile tendencies: Michael Collins, Historic England's inspector of ancient monuments for Hadrian's Wall, tells Cahal Milmo of I News that the Romans generally viewed the phallus as a good luck charm.

Indeed, the Rock of Gelt phallus is just one of many associated with the Roman Empire's sprawling 73-mile northern border. In an interview with CNN's Emily Dixon, Newcastle archaeologist Rob Collins says he has identified 57 other etchings of male genitalia scattered across the length of Hadrian's Wall.

This is hilarious for obvious reasons, but it's worth noting that not all Roman-era grunt humor was relatively harmless: a Roman soldier once sparked a riot by mooning unsuspecting civilians, per Slate.

According to Josephus' account in The Wars of the Jews, a Roman soldier bared his rear to an audience of Jews celebrating Passover, and thereby incited a furious riot that killed "upwards of thirty thousand." However, a closer examination of Josephus's account shows that the soldier was not mooning the crowd, but rather farting in their general direction. Josephus puts it more delicately: "One of the soldiers, raising his robe, stooped in an indecent attitude, so as to turn his backside to the Jews, and made a noise in keeping with his posture.

Roman soldiers: They're just like us!

SEE ALSO: In Defense Of Military Pilots Drawing Dicks In The Sky

Heckler & Koch's first batch of M27 Infantry Automatic Rifles

Have you ever wondered what would happen if the employee behind a firearm company's Facebook page decided to goad a bunch of Marines into destroying their brand new firearms? Now you know.

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On February 19, 1999, the world changed forever. Office Space came out. It wasn't a box office sensation. It only made $12 million. But the VHS (the what?), DVD, and all the different streaming versions of it would change workplaces forever.

Oddly enough, one of the workplaces that Office Space perfectly captures is the military. Whether it's on a movie screen in a base theater or a laptop in troop berthing, service members have seen themselves in Office Space for 20 years now.

A movie meant to mock the daily drudgery of office drones also captured the lives of everyone from admin clerks to grunts to pilots.

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