Every American man of a certain age is intimately familiar with Duke Nukem, the muscle-bound Army veteran who’s been crushing alien invaders and saving the planet since he first burst onto your MS-DOS screen back in 1991. But after decades of chewing bubblegum and kicking ass at the behest of the CIA, everyone’s favorite action hero is bringing the fight where it belongs: a movie theater near you.
Photo by David James / Courtesy of Amazon Studios and Roadside Attractions
There have been many different versions of John Cena over the years — wrestler, rapper, action hero, comic actor, reality TV host — but, really, they’re all variations of the same thing: He’s a monster. Like, come on, the guy deadlifted 602 pounds on his 40th birthday. What was he doing in a gym on his birthday? Why wasn’t he pounding foot-long margaritas in Cabo San Lucas? Because he was being John Cena. And John Cena never takes a break from being John Cena.
What’s the best way to celebrate that 365th day of the nth year since you came kicking into this world? For many, it’s shots, shots, shots. For John Cena, it’s lifting a barbell-bending stack of Cadillacs.