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Across the military, service members often squabble over which branch is best, smartest, strongest, dumbest, laziest, fattest, and fittest. It’s a tradition that dates back since the establishment of the branches, with soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines, and coasties all vying not to be the worst (sorry, Coast Guard, but everyone knows it’s you). But what if we looked at each service branch through a different lens — say one of ice and fire?

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