Did you ever crack open your lunchbox as a kid at school on a Monday and find yourself wondering how the classic contents — ham and cheese on white bread, bag of chips, M&Ms; — became the mega-popular snacks that they are today? You can thank the U.S. military for most of those.
Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.
U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Victor J. Caputo
So you’re stuck in the field, it’s raining — because why the hell wouldn’t it be? — and you’re famished. So you sit down on an overturned Kevlar and reach into your bag for your prized possession: the long-promised pizza MRE. There’s just one problem: It’s completely brown and looks like shit on a slice of cardboard.
Judging by the havoc MREs wreak on service members from beginning to end, you might guess that the military doesn’t give a shit about soldiers’ bowels. And you would be right. That means it falls on your humble Task & Purpose reporter to investigate the long-held myth that the gum in MREs will help you either release the floodgates or stop up the sewage, if you will, depending on what color it is.