While America's forever wars continue to rage abroad, the
streaming wars are starting to heat up at home.
On Monday, the Walt Disney Company
announced that its brand new online streaming service, aptly titled Disney+, will launch an all-out assault on eyeballs around the world with an arsenal of your favorite content starting on November 12th. Marvel Cinematic Universe content! Star Wars content! Pixar content! Classic Disney animation content!
While the initial Disney+ content lineup looks like the most overpowered alliance since NATO, there's one addition of particular interest hidden in Disney's massive Twitter announcement, an elite strike force with a unique mission that stands ready to eliminate streaming enemies like Netflix and Hulu no matter where they may hide.
That's right, I'm talking about
Operation Dumbo Drop — and no, I am not fucking around.
The last time former Army paratrooper Polito “Paul” Olivas jumped out of a perfectly good plane, Lyndon B. Johnson was president, the average cost of a new car was $3,500, and the Beatles released their first album in the United States.
Earlier this month, a decorated U.S. Army Special Forces soldier was arrested and charged in relation to an attempt to smuggle 90 pounds of cocaine from Colombia to Florida, but he may just be one player in a multimillion-dollar operation.