Marines and sailors at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina undergo a routine urinalysis on Nov. 30, 2012. U.S. Marine Corps/Cpl. Daniel Wulz

Probably fearing the outcome of a routine piss test, a Navy sailor allegedly tried to destroy his urine samples, and now faces charges for attempting to set fire to bottles of pee, which, well, aren't that flammable.

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U.S. Marine Corps/Cpl. Daniel A. Wulz

The Department of Defense announced a two-day pause to court-martial and administrative separation proceedings involving the wrongful use of controlled substances, due to worries over the integrity of the lab tests involved — a move that could also cast a pall over past drug-related dismissals, Military Times reports.

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U.S. Marine Corps/Cpl. Daniel A. Wulz

A Camp Pendleton Marine court-martialed for using and distributing illegal substances to his fellow Marines had, among many other things, a fake penis in his possession — ostensibly used to defeat Corps urinalysis tests — when he was stopped and searched by military police last year, according to court documents released last week.

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Photo via DoD

A Navy sailor who works at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach, Va. is under investigation for a "suspicious" fire that destroyed up to 900 urinalysis samples and records, The Virginian-Pilot reports.

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U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Daniel A. Wulz

Effective April 3, 2017, each military branch will expand its drug-screening procedures for applicants. That means more peeing into cups, and probably a few more drug waivers.

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