It’s 0500, the air is brisk, and there’s a light coating of dew on the grass. It’s a beautiful morning for a six-mile run. Wait a minute. Where the hell is half of the platoon? Sleeping in their beds, or in their car, or at sick call, that’s where.
In the military, one maxim rings true across generations — privates are stupid. They make dumb decisions, with hilarious consequences. I know it’s hard to admit, look, I’ll go first. At MOS school as a young Marine, I called an Army command sergeant major, “sergeant,” because I was a dumb boot and thought that’s what you called everyone in the Army E-5 and above.
One depressing fact about getting older is that you can’t drink like you could when you were young. Well, you can, but it will hurt a lot more, and in ways you never imagined. The transformation usually occurs, or begins to occur, in your late 20s. When once a night of heavy drinking was followed by little more than a minor headache and a few regrets, now it’s a soul-crushing ordeal that can last for days. But when you’re in the military, calling in sick isn’t an option. Hungover or not, you’re still waking up at the crack of dawn to do PT. That unfortunate reality is the focus of Army veteran and YouTube personality Yusha Thomas’ hilarious new video, titled “Drinking As You Get Older In The Military.” Take a look.