When you gotta go, you gotta go. Maybe you’re stuck in traffic, or waiting in line for hologram Harambe concert tickets, or stranded on post in some country that’s always too hot or too cold, like porridge that’s plotting to kill you. Or you’re just fucking lazy.
So, you whip it out, grab the nearest empty bottle, create as much of a seal as you can — a bottle’s opening and personal sizes vary — and release. Ahh, what a relief. Until you realize your hands are wet, your schlong is stuck, and in your frenzy to shake it loose, you’ve gotten piss everywhere.
Well, you’re not the only one, but now you can be one of the last.
The Car Pool, created by Eric Bert, is meant to solve all that. The device, which is being crowdfunded through Kickstarter, comes in at $25 and can be pre-ordered now with an expected arrival date later this month, according to Now This Future.
Here’s how it works: Just extend the tube, insert the one-size fits all nozzle into your container of choice, tuck your unit into the other end, cut loose and relax as it funnels that stream into your resealable receptacle.
So if you have a penis, hands, an empty bottle, the occasional need to pee, and a complete inability to use plumbing the way your mama raised you, this may be worth checking out. Just remember which bottle is which once your business is done.
Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.
Airman 1st Class Isaiah Edwards has been sentenced to 35 years in prison after a military jury found him guilty of murder in connection with the death of a fellow airman in Guam, Air Force officials announced on Tuesday.
A Russian man got drunk as all hell and tried to hijack an airplane on Tuesday, according to Russian news agencies.
So, pretty much your typical day in Siberia. No seriously: As Reuters notes, "drunken incidents involving passengers on commercial flights in Russia are fairly common, though it is unusual for them to result in flights being diverted."