The real reason Maverick is still a captain 30 years after 'Top Gun,' according to this hilariously accurate alternate trailer

Humor

A hilarious alternate trailer 'Top Gun: Maverick'

(YouTube/Jonathan Hilaire)

Ever since the first full trailer for Top Gun: Maverick dropped in mid-July, we've been consumed by a single burning question: how the hell is Pete "Maverick" Mitchell still flying combat missions as a captain after more than 30 years of Navy service?


"Thirty-plus years of service. Combat medals, citations, the only man to shoot down three enemy planes in the last 40 years. Yet you can't get a promotion, you won't retire, and despite your best efforts you refuse to die," snarls Ed Harris' unnamed rear admiral in the trailer. "You should be at least a two-star admiral by now. Yet here you are. Captain. Why is that?"

Sure, Navy Personnel Command offered up a handful of explanations for why Old Man Maverick is still rocking a F/A-18 Super Hornet more than three decades after Top Gun premiered in 1986: previous enlisted experience, a break in service, or even the possibility that Maverick was retired and retained.

But I prefer the simpler explanation offered by an eerily accurate and deeply hilarious 'alternate trailer' published to YouTube by Jonathan Hilaire on Monday: Maverick just feels the need for speed — and the need to express it as inappropriately as possible.

Watch the video above to see what I mean. How Maverick ended up dodging a post-service career hauling rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong after these hijinks is beyond me.

Top Gun: Maverick stars Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Jon Hamm, Jennifer Connelly, Miles Teller, and Ed Harris. The sequel will blast into theaters on June 26, 2020.

Editor's Note: This article by Hope Hodge Seck originally appeared on Military.com, a leading source of news for the military and veteran community.

In the wake of a heartwarming viral video that was featured everywhere from Good Morning America to the Daily Mail comes a disheartening revelation: The 84-year-old self-described Army nurse cranking out push-ups in her crisp Vietnam-era uniform might not be who she said she was.

Maggie DeSanti, allegedly a retired Army lieutenant colonel who rappeled out of helicopters in Vietnam, was captured in a video challenging a TSA agent to a push-up competition ahead of a flight to Washington, D.C., with the Arizona chapter of the organization Honor Flight on Oct. 16. The video soon was everywhere, and many who shared it, including Honor Flight, hailed DeSanti's toughness and spirit.

Read More Show Less

The summer before sixth grade, Cindy Dawson went to an air show with her father and was enamored by the flight maneuvers the pilots performed.

"I just thought that would be the coolest thing that anybody could ever do," she said, especially having already heard stories about her grandfather flying bombers during World War II with the Army Air Corps.

So by the first day of school, she had already decided what she wanted to be when she grew up.

Read More Show Less
(ABC News)

Peach schnapps, sex on the beach, and piña colada may be familiar drinks to anyone who's spent an afternoon (or a whole day) getting plastered on an ocean-side boardwalk, but they're also specialty desserts at Ray's Boozy Cupcakes, Etc, a bakery in Voorhees, New Jersey run by a 93-year-old World War II veteran named Ray Boutwell.

Read More Show Less
Instagram/US Coast Guard

A former senior Coast Guard official has been accused of shoplifting from a Philadelphia sex shop.

Rear Adm. Francis "Stash" Pelkowski (Ret.) was accused of stealing a tester item from Kink Shoppe on Oct. 8, according to an Instagram post by the store that appeared online two days later. In the post, which included apparent security camera footage of the incident, a man can be seen looking at products on a counter before picking up an item and placing it in his pocket before turning and walking away.

The Instagram post identified the man as Pelkowski, and said it wished him "all the best in his retirement, a sincere thank you for your service, and extreme and utter disappointment in his personal morals."

Read More Show Less

SAN DIEGO —The Marines say changes in the way they train recruits and their notoriously hard-nosed drill instructors have led to fewer incidents of drill instructor misconduct, officials told the Union-Tribune.

Their statement about training followed an Oct. 5 Washington Post report revealing that more than 20 Marines at the San Diego boot camp have been disciplined for misconduct since 2017, including cases of physical attacks and racist and homophobic slurs. The story also was published in the Union-Tribune.

Read More Show Less