President Donald Trump may not even show up to the big military parade supposedly taking place later this year in Washington, D.C.
Although the president has officially ordered the Pentagon to start planning a parade for Veterans Day, Nov. 11, Trump is expected to be in Paris on that day attending a summit alongside 79 other world leaders, according to CNBC.
As a reminder, the good idea fairy-in-chief came up with the idea of having a "grand military parade" through downtown Washington after seeing one in France. And as is often the case, when the president comes up with some crazy idea, Pentagon officials first privately respond with, "huh, is he serious?" and then carry out the order.
The parade is expected to cost anywhere from $10 million to $30 million, according to Mick Mulvaney, the White House budget director. It's also happening on the Sunday of what is typically a long weekend off for most troops, so thanks for your service and all that — now get in goddamn formation.
While the Pentagon confirmed to CBS News it received a memo from the White House ordering a parade on Nov. 11, a Pentagon spokeswoman denied there was a schedule conflict.
"We are looking towards Nov. 11, around Veterans Day, and also possibly in conjunction with the World War I celebrations," Pentagon spokeswoman Dana White said in a recent briefing, even though Veterans Day is literally on the 100th anniversary of the end of World War I.
The State Department referred questions to the White House. The White House did not respond to a request for comment.
So we'll just have to wait and see as the plans for the most epic dog-and-pony show take shape. Will President Trump be there? Will this parade have tanks, airplane flyovers, or North Korea-style mobile missile launchers? That's still unclear.
But what we do know for sure: It's going to feature at least a few pissed off soldiers and Marines singing the EAS song and wishing slow death on their recruiters as they march through D.C.
Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.
Coast Guard cutter Bertholf on a counterdrug patrol in the eastern Pacific Ocean, March 11, 2018. (U.S. Coast Guard/Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael Trees
U.S. Coast Guard cutter Bertholf left California on January 20 for a months-long mission in the Pacific to support U.S. Indo-Pacific Command, the largest of the U.S. military's geographic combatant commands.
Coast Guardsmen aboard the Bertholf left Alameda on the 30th day of what is now the longest government shutdown in U.S. history. They left a few days after not getting their first paycheck since that shutdown started and without knowing when the next will come.