Why Mattis Won’t Be Running In 2016

DoD photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Chad J. McNeeley

Though many will be sad to hear it, there will be no Mattis 2016 presidential bid. Retired Marine Gen. James Mattis announced that he will not be making a run for president while speaking at Columbia Basin College in Washington state, on June 27.

Though he has risen to near-mythic levels of fame in Marine Corps lore, and is widely respected within the veteran community, Mattis is not a politician — he is a warrior, first and foremost.

"I've lived a very colorful life and I've said some things," said Mattis. "But not once have I taken them back, and I've never apologized for them — and I won't. I like the enemy knowing there are a few guys like me around."

The Coast Guard is officially shit outta luck for a paycheck thanks to the government shutdown, which means that zero coasties have been paid to create some of the amazing memes being shared as a way to vent their frustration.

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Vice President Mike Pence repeated President Donald Trump's claim that "ISIS has been defeated" in Syria on Wednesday just hours after several U.S. service members were killed by an ISIS suicide bomber in Manbij, Syria.

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Soldiers, family and community gathered in Morehead City to render honors and witness the transfer and memorial of U.S. Army Sgt James Slape Nov. 9-11, 2018. Slape will hold a temporary resting place in Morehead City before ultimately moving to Arlington Cemetery. Slape supported Operations Resolute Support and Freedom Sentinel in Afghanistan. (U.S. Army National Guard Photo by Staff Sgt Leticia Samuels, North Carolina National Guard)

An ISIS suicide bomber killed four Americans in Manbij, Syria, on Wednesday.

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Comedian Steve Carell will be starring in an upcoming Netflix show about the new Space Force that's being described as a "workplace comedy."

Yeah, that's right. The Office, but in freaking space.

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