When the dead eventually walk the face of the earth, your weapon of choice may be the deciding factor as to whether you live or die. Guns are useless once you run out of ammo, the crossbow or compound bow are clumsy and inefficient, and a bludgeoning tool requires a ton of muscle to fully destroy the brain. And don’t even think about using your fists.
To that end, solid, reliable blade is probably your best bet, but why have one when you can have four? That’s where the Biohazard Zombie Hack N’ Slash knife set comes in.
Forged from black stainless steel and featuring handles wrapped in “zombie green” nylon (hence the name, apparently), the Hack N’ Slash offers the perfect set of savage-looking knives to withstand any undead assault — and scare the bejesus out of human adversaries in the process. And each blade comes with an appropriately bejesus-scaring name like Lilith’s Kiss, Quick Kill, Bloodline and Hexad — all for just $80.
Of course, you’ll need to be damn talented with a blade to avoid cutting yourself open while flailing around like a wounded bird, but even if you go down against a horde of undead monsters, you’ll look pretty damn badass in the process.
Just don’t bring these out in public before the apocalypse strikes. Otherwise you might look a bit like this:
Every once in a while, we run across a photo in The Times-Picayune archives that's so striking that it begs a simple question: "What in the name of Momus Alexander Morgus is going on in this New Orleans photograph?" When we do, we've decided, we're going to share it — and to attempt to answer that question.
Members of the Syrian Democratic Forces control the monitor of their drone at their advanced position, during the fighting with Islamic State's fighters in Nazlat Shahada, a district of Raqqa. (Reuters/Zohra Bensemra)
MUSCAT (Reuters) - The United States should keep arming and aiding the Kurdish-led Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) following the planned U.S. withdrawal from Syria, provided the group keeps up the pressure on Islamic State, a senior U.S. general told Reuters on Friday.
Long before Tony Stark took a load of shrapnel to the chest in a distant war zone, science fiction legend Robert Heinlein gave America the most visceral description of powered armor for the warfighter of the future. Forget the spines of extra-lethal weaponry, the heads-up display, and even the augmented strength of an Iron Man suit — the real genius, Heinlein wrote in Starship Troopers, "is that you don't have to control the suit; you just wear it, like your clothes, like skin."
"Any sort of ship you have to learn to pilot; it takes a long time, a new full set of reflexes, a different and artificial way of thinking," explains Johnny Rico. "Spaceships are for acrobats who are also mathematicians. But a suit, you just wear."
First introduced in 2013, U.S. Special Operations Command's Tactical Assault Light Operator Suit (TALOS) purported to offer this capability as America's first stab at militarized powered armor. And while SOCOM initially promised a veritable Iron Man-style tactical armor by 2018, a Navy spokesman told Task & Purpose the much-hyped exoskeleton will likely never get off the launch pad.
"The prototype itself is not currently suitable for operation in a close combat environment," SOCOM spokesman Navy Lt. Phillip Chitty told Task & Purpose, adding that JATF-TALOS has no plans for an external demonstration this year. "There is still no intent to field the TALOS Mk 5 combat suit prototype."