Meet Cpl. Adonis Maximus Badass, the Brit soldier with the best name in military history

That's right, somewhere out there within the ranks of the British Army is a corporal with the single greatest name in the history of military service: Adonis Maximus Badass.

The last thing I expected today as I poured myself a stiff drink — and prepared to skate through the last hour or two of work — was this tweet from Ned Donavan, a British reporter in London. 

But by the beard of Zeus, I'm eternally grateful I saw it.

https://twitter.com/Ned_Donovan/status/1271459010965901319

That's right, somewhere out there within the ranks of the British Army is a corporal with the single greatest name in the history of military service: Adonis Maximus Badass. (And yes, that even takes into account the Capt. Americas, Sgt. Majors, and Maj. Players of the world.)

Let me say that glorious name again, but slower:

Adonis — Greek for “pure muscle-bound perfection.”

Maximus — Latin for “to the max, motherfucker.”

Badass — Well, that one's self explanatory.

In other words, this guy's name amounts to Perfect Maximum Badassery.

The screenshot showing this flawless name was pulled from a video shared by the official British Army Twitter account commemorating the forced surrender of the British Army's Highland Division at Saint-Valery-en-Caux during the Battle of France

In the video, Adonis Maximus Badass — I simply refuse to use just his last name — can be seen playing the ever-loving shit out of his bagpipes:

Now, all too often the internet spews forth a disgusting stream of hate, ignorance, and crossfit videos — seriously, nobody cares that you're working out and like to play with kettlebells — but every once in a while it coughs up something amazing, like some god-touched hairball onto the rug that is humanity.

Today, that was a name, and that name was Adonis Maximus Badass.

James Clark

James Clarkis the Deputy Editor of Task & Purpose and a Marine veteran. He oversees daily editorial operations, edits articles, and supports reporters so they can continue to write the impactful stories that matter to our audience. In terms of writing, James provides a mix of pop culture commentary and in-depth analysis of issues facing the military and veterans community. Contact the author here.

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