Night ops just got a lot more comfy thanks to all these plushy weapons of war

Thread count? How about... body count?
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Why yes, this is an M18 Claymore Mine neck pillow, and yes, you can buy it, along with an arsenal of other plushy weapons of mass destruction thanks to the folks over at Evike

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That cushion of carnage comes in at just $16 through the Alhambra, California-based retailer, which seems to cater to that small subsection of consumers who go in for airsoft, fishing, firearms, and tactical apparel, yet also enjoy resting comfortably and in good humor.

Just check out this $30 M67 frag grenade pillow that you never knew existed.

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And that's not all. In keeping with their theme of modern warfare meets mattress warfare, there's also a plushy assault rifle and submachine gun, for when you need to get your head down and lay down some covers.

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Or if you're in the mood for a late night snack, here's a meatballs in marina sauce MRE that won't back you up worse than rush hour traffic.

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And thanks to this soft SAPI plate, sleeper cells just got more cozy.

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Look, I get it, these are all absurd, but now might be the perfect time to distract yourself with some punny pillows that bring new meaning to the phrase "security blanket."