DHS: We Love Wall. Wall Good. Building Wall Quickly

Humor
Mani Albrecht/

Someone over at the Department of Homeland Security is using a terribly-programmed bot to write their press releases or they just can't write proper English.


In a Wednesday press release posted to the official DHS website titled "Walls Work," the agency proclaimed it was committed to "building wall and building wall quickly." It added that DHS was not "replacing short, outdated and ineffective wall with similar wall" but would build a wall that was in fact, 30 feet high.

Brick from Anchorman, is that you?

"FACT: Prior to President Trump taking office, we have never built wall that high," the press release added.

Also a fact: Whoever wrote this needs a fucking copy editor, stat.

The bottom line, the release concluded, is that "when we have installed wall in Yuma Sector, we have seen border apprehensions decrease by 90 percent. In San Diego we saw on Sunday that dilapidated, decades old barriers are not sufficient for today’s threat and need to be removed so new – up to 30 foot wall sections can be completed."

Wall good. Illegal bad. Wall make high. 30 feet. Yes.

DHS

Casperassets.rbl.ms

Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.

Take $75 off a Casper Mattress and $150 off a Wave Mattress with code TASKANDPURPOSE

And no one knows that better than military service members and we have the pictures to prove it.

Read More Show Less

The second of three Zumwalt-class so-called stealth destroyers built at Bath Iron Works will be commissioned Saturday in its homeport of San Diego.

Read More Show Less
Veterans Day at the Meuse-Argonne American Cemetery, 11 November, 2018. Photo: Erich Backes/U.S. Army

In typical veteran community fashion, hundreds of people showed up to two separate funerals last week for veterans who otherwise would have been buried alone.

Read More Show Less
(U.S. Marine Corps/Lance Cpl. Darien J. Bjorndal)

KABUL (Reuters) - The Taliban killed more than 100 members of the Afghan security forces inside a military compound in central Maidan Wardak province on Monday, a senior defense official said.

Read More Show Less
Coast Guard cutter Bertholf on a counterdrug patrol in the eastern Pacific Ocean, March 11, 2018. (U.S. Coast Guard/Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael Trees

U.S. Coast Guard cutter Bertholf left California on January 20 for a months-long mission in the Pacific to support U.S. Indo-Pacific Command, the largest of the U.S. military's geographic combatant commands.

Coast Guardsmen aboard the Bertholf left Alameda on the 30th day of what is now the longest government shutdown in U.S. history. They left a few days after not getting their first paycheck since that shutdown started and without knowing when the next will come.

Read More Show Less