Swearing to remember, but knowing memories fade, some turn their grief into ink. Part therapy, part tribute, memorial tattoos are common across the military and veteran community, but never alike.
Sometimes they are faces. After a 19-year-old Marine died in a plane crash in California, his father put his son’s portrait on his forearm — always close, but easily hidden by a sleeve when the pain of sharing is too much.
Sometimes they are sprawling, radiant murals, but other times they are barely there at all. An Air Force staff sergeant who died at 26 had a small birthmark on his forearm, barely the size of a quarter. To remember him, his family each got matching ‘birth marks’ of their own.
Sometimes they are just simple words. A month before he died, a Marine texted his mom for Mother’s Day. She put the final text bubbles on her arm — “Happy Mother’s Day, ama” — including the smiley emoji.
These, and other tattoo photos, were recently shared by the Tragedy Assistance Program For Survivors (TAPS), a national veterans service organization that, since 1984, has provided care and resources to those grieving a death in the military or veteran community. After a death, TAPS connects families and survivors to a national network of peers and grief resources.
The organization asked families and friends to post their memorial tattoos on social media, and after the volume of respondents, connected many of them with Task & Purpose.
For Liz Deakin, TAPS’ vice president for communications, the project was important but also personal for her. “I wear a tattoo honoring my father and father-in-law, as well as my grandfather, a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army who died by suicide,” Deakin said. “Sharing these stories through ‘Share Your Ink’ is exactly what the TAPS mission is all about: connecting survivors and ensuring the legacies of our military and veteran loved ones are never forgotten.”
Below are nine, from across all military services, generations and backgrounds, shared with permission by families who want to remember.
Petty Officer 1st Class Scott Halliburton, 40
U.S. Coast Guard
Died: Oroville, California, Aug. 6, 2020.
Lauren Buckland (Wife): “You’ll never walk alone” in my husband’s handwriting… The memorial tattoo on my foot was a spur-of-the-moment decision. It was the day before my late husband’s birthday, our first one without him, in 2021. I brought my late husband’s notebooks from college, and the artist, Myke Frigerio, and I pieced together the letters… Memorial tattoos, to me, are more than art — they’re lasting tributes to those we’ve loved and lost. We’re never far from the ones who shaped our hearts.
Sgt. Tristan Bethel, 25
U.S. Marine Corps
Died: July 19, 2016, Miramar Beach, Florida, in an auto accident.
Robin Bethel (Mother): A cardinal came to me on the top of our lilac tree right before he passed. His signature is on the tag.
Lance Cpl. Evan Strickland, 19
U.S. Marine Corps
Died: June 8, 2022. Killed in line of duty in MV-22 Osprey crash near El Centro, California.
Brett Strickland (Father): I have a sleeve that’s still in progress with elements to honor and remember my son, Evan, after he passed. A Phoenix is because we who grieve must be reborn and keep moving forward. An angel represents the one who now watches over us, and the portrait [pictured] is on the inside of my forearm — always near to me and only shared if I feel comfortable.
Chief Petty Officer Stacey Lin Donoho Meeker, 45
U.S. Navy
Died: Nov. 16, 2016, after a long illness
Chris Meeker (husband): My wife wanted her burial to be a sailor’s one (at sea). Respecting her wishes meant I would never have an Arlington grave to visit or a memorial site to go to.
My wife and I were both active-duty Navy. Thus, our bond was not only to each other, but also with the sea. In order to keep her close, I designed and drew a nautical chart-style tattoo that accurately showed not only her final resting place, but the coordinates of her location.
There’s one more piece of it I’m holding onto to do at the 10th ‘angleversary’ in November 2026: a squid or octopus on my inner bicep. It’s a representation and marker of what took her and the struggles of 10 years of grief.
Lance Cpl. Armando Hernandez, 20
U.S. Marine Corps
Died: June 29, 2021. Off-duty accident, Okinawa, Japan
Ana Hernandez (mother): The last Mother’s Day text message I received from my son.
Cpl. Noah Gary Huff, 22
U.S. Marine Corps
Died: May 11, 2024. Iwakuni, Japan
Cheryl Huff (mother): I couldn’t decide on one — got a half-sleeve! The ‘I love you mom’ is Noah’s handwriting from a boot camp letter. The red fish tail is his exact tattoo. Both my husband and I were Marines, and it was always his dream to follow us.
Pfc. Ethan Hertweck, 21
U.S. Marine Corps and Armed Forces of Ukraine
Died: Dec. 4, 2023. Killed in action, Ukraine
Leslie Taylor Hertweck (mother): He was honorably discharged [from the USMC] at a young age due to a rare blood disorder we never knew he had. He was not happy to not have a full career in the Marine Corps. He was a warrior through and through and ALWAYS looked out for everyone. He went to Ukraine for the very ideals instilled in him as a born American and a Marine: to help those who couldn’t help themselves and for the sake of freedom. I found out a few months into his time in Ukraine that he got this tattoo done there — his very first (and last) tattoo!
This tattoo helped in identifying him when he was recovered from the battlefield. It took 14 months to get the call that he had been recovered and identified.
Staff Sgt. Matthew Merrit Fry, 26
U.S. Air Force
Died: March 13, 2020, Aurora, Colorado. Died by suicide.
Betty Merritt Fry (mother): We got Matthew’s birthmark tattooed on our arms!
Spc. Jason Edens, 22
U.S. Army
Died: April 26, 2012. Killed in action, Afghanistan
Janet Harpool Crane (mother): I completed an Ironman race on Sept. 29, 2019, which also happened to be Gold Star Mother’s Day. My tattoo combined this accomplishment, being a Gold Star Mom, and my son’s signature from a letter he wrote me in basic training. I included his birthdate and death date.
