Photo Illustration by Paul Szoldra

The Space Force will not be used to fight off an alien invasion, but it may end up fighting a space-suited version of Jack Sparrow.

According to Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), the United States absolutely needs a space force because, much like back in the olden days of tall ships on the high seas, there may be pirates roving the galaxy looking for interstellar booty to pillage.

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U.S. Air Force Gen. Jay Raymond, Commander of Air Force Space Command, addresses the 34th Space Symposium in Colorado Springs, Colorado, April 17, 2018. (U.S. Air Force/ Dave Grim)

President Trump has nominated Gen. Jay Raymond to lead the U.S. Space Command, a new major military entity aimed at advancing the country's operations in space.

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Listen up conspiracy theorists, schizophrenics, and other beloved readers: Some of you out there might have been wondering if Space Force will fight aliens.

Yet only a fool would pose such a question to senior defense officials. Thankfully, your friend and humble Pentagon correspondent is that fool.

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President Donald Trump has formally outlined how his administration plans to stand up the Space Force as the sixth U.S. military service – if Congress approves.

On Tuesday, Trump signed a directive that calls for the Defense Department to submit a proposal to Congress that would make Space Force fall under Department of the Air Force, a senior administration official said.

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Ronald Reagan's dream of space-based lasers shielding the United States from ICBMs will not come to fruition in the near future, despite the Trump administration's focus on space.

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Comedian Steve Carell will be starring in an upcoming Netflix show about the new Space Force that's being described as a "workplace comedy."

Yeah, that's right. The Office, but in freaking space.

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