I've been thinking a lot about the direction of my life. I am pretty happy with where I am these days, and enjoy being able to write columns at Task & Purpose while also steering the direction of my website, Duffel Blog.
But perhaps there is something more for me out there. Maybe there is a higher calling. I feel like I can do more to support that 19-year-old lance corporal walking around in Afghanistan, for example, by charging his taxpaying mom and dad something like $50 million for automatic weapons, paying my rent, and the purchase of a Bentley.
Now, let me be clear: This would be a big sacrifice. But I'm willing to give up the lesser things in life for the finer things in life by directly supporting that warfighter on the ground, and myself.
Here's my pitch:
I'll start an LLC with a shady-yet-vaguely patriotic-sounding name — maybe American Hawk Consulting or Freedom Intelligence Services, register on FedBizOpps, and then bid on contracts I find interesting in Afghanistan, such as a $536 million deal from the U.S. Army to provide intelligence training to the Afghan military.
Stick with me on this. I think I have a plan that will benefit everyone.
Once I get the contract signed, I'll hire my girlfriend, my mom, and my 8-year-old son as the company's CFO, CMO, and CCO (Chief Creative Officer), respectively. Since they are hard workers, I think they deserve a salary of at least $400,000, which is the going rate.
I'll also spend at least a couple thousand on booze. Might as well hire a couple of strippers, too — just some good clean wholesome fun for the company. And, since we've got so many people coming and going through our doors, we probably need to put together a small fleet of luxury vehicles so our professional driver (salary: $125,000 a year) can pick them up from the airport after they return from Bermuda, where we have a lot of pressing business these days.
Oh wait, I'm sorry. I almost forgot to mention all the great things my company will be doing for the Army during this time.
In keeping with the contract, I'll be helping the Afghans develop their intelligence network. The feds say I am to develop a training plan that will turn regular Afghans into highly-efficient soldiers trained in the world of intelligence, and fortunately, I have an 8-week course that does just that. Training modules include PowerPoints that say things like, "so you wanna be an intelligence officer?" and "writing the intelligence brief: Why you should mention high-level targets of opportunity living in Pakistan for soldiers patrolling in Kabul."
We'll always start our sessions with two hours of an intelligence training film from 007, a British firm.
There's no doubt in my mind that every single one of my training courses will be graded as "successful," since I'll be the one grading them.
So I think I've made a compelling case. Now let's just hope the Army goes along with this pitch, again.
The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs paid $13,000 over a three-month period for a senior official's biweekly commute to Washington from his home in California, according to expense reports obtained by ProPublica.
Staff Sgt. John Eller conducts pre-flights check on his C-17 Globemaster III Jan. 3 prior to taking off from Hickam Air Force Base, Hawaii for a local area training mission. Sgt. Eller is a loadmaster from the 535th Airlift Squadron. (U.S. Air Force photo/Tech. Sgt. Shane A. Cuomo)
CUCUTA, Colombia — The Trump administration ratcheted up pressure Saturday on beleaguered Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro, dispatching U.S. military planes filled with humanitarian aid to this city on the Venezuelan border.
U.S. Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan speaks at the annual Munich Security Conference in Munich, Germany February 15, 2019. REUTERS/Andreas Gebert
ABOARD A U.S. MILITARY AIRCRAFT (Reuters) - Acting U.S. Defense Secretary Patrick Shanahan said on Saturday he had not yet determined whether a border wall with Mexico was a military necessity or how much Pentagon money would be used.
President Donald Trump on Friday declared a national emergency in a bid to fund his promised wall at the U.S.-Mexico border without congressional approval.
A pair of U.S. Navy Grumman F-14A Tomcat aircraft from Fighter Squadron VF-211 Fighting Checkmates in flight over Iraq in 2003/Department of Defense
Since the sequel to the 1986 action flick (and wildly successful Navy recruitment tool) Top Gun, was announced, there's been a lot of speculation on what Top Gun: Maverick will be about when it premieres in June 2020. While the plot is still relatively unclear, we know Tom Cruise will reprise his role as Naval aviator Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, and he'll be joined by a recognizable costar: The iconic F-14 Tomcat.
It looks like the old war plane will be coming out of retirement for more than just a cameo. A number of recently surfaced photos show an F-14 Tomcat aboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt, alongside Cruise and members of the film's production crew, the Drive's Tyler Rogoway first reported earlier this week.