When I look at the above photo, first posted by Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego on Tuesday, I imagine this is the conversation that played out:
Hey mom, I'm at boot camp safe. Can you send me some black cats, Roman Candles, or screaming mimis?
Yeah, and throw in some lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, crap flappers, whistlin' bungholes, spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, and at least one whistlin' kitty chaser.
Love you. I'll write soon.
It was probably something different, but I've got to believe.
The photo went viral, for obvious reasons: The most prominent recruit featured is wearing a mullet haircut and a Budweiser t-shirt. He showed up to boot camp ready to fucking party.
As is customary, shortly after this photo was taken, he and the other recruits were taken to the barber shop where their long flowing locks were last seen being swept into a massive hair pile on the floor. Which is goddamn sad, because that mullet is absolutely glorious.
Besides the photo in question, the comments on the MCRD's Facebook post are gold. They include:
"I’d like to think he skipped the bus ride to MCRD and pulled up burnin rubber in his El Camino with Marlboro smoke pouring out the windows jamming to Skynard before he stepped out then shotgunned a Budweiser."
"He signed the papers in 1990 and made it to Bootcamp in 2018."
"When he tried to speak into the phone, the only thing that came out was the majestic sound of the bald eagle. Copenhagen snuff dribbles into the phone, as he runs his fingers through his long, flowing mullet for the last time for the next few years."
Thank you for your service, Mullet Man. I wish you all the best of luck on your transformation into Mullet Marine.
Army Staff Sgt. Albert Leon Mampre, who served during World War II with the famed Easy Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne Division depicted in the HBO series 'Band of Brothers,' was laid to rest on June 15th, the Army announced
Mampre, who died on May 31 at 97 years old, was the last living medic from Easy Company, according to the Chicago Sun-Times. A number of soldiers assigned to his unit provided an honor guard for his funeral service.
NIEUWEGEIN, Netherlands (Reuters) - Three Russians and a Ukrainian will face murder charges for the 2014 downing of Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 over eastern Ukraine which killed 298 people, in a trial to start in the Netherlands next March, an investigation team said on Wednesday.
The suspects are likely to be tried in absentia, however, as the Netherlands has said Russia has not cooperated with the investigation and is not expected to hand anyone over.
"These suspects are seen to have played an important role in the death of 298 innocent civilians", said Dutch Chief Prosecutor Fred Westerbeke.
"Although they did not push the button themselves, we suspect them of close cooperation to get the (missile launcher) where it was, with the aim to shoot down an airplane."
A Navy SEAL sentenced to one year in prison for the death of Army Special Forces Staff Sgt. Logan Melgar is under investigation for allegedly flirting with Melgar's widow while using a false name and trying to persuade her that he and another SEAL accused of killing her husband were "really good guys," according to the Washington Post.
NAVAL BASE SAN DIEGO — The trial of Navy SEAL Chief Eddie Gallagher officially kicked off on Tuesday with the completion of jury selection, opening statements, and witness testimony indicating that drinking alcohol on the front lines of Mosul, Iraq in 2017 seemed to be a common occurrence for members of SEAL Team 7 Alpha Platoon.
Government prosecutors characterized Gallagher as a knife-wielding murderer who not only killed a wounded ISIS fighter but shot indiscriminately at innocent civilians, while the defense argued that those allegations were falsehoods spread by Gallagher's angry subordinates, with attorney Tim Parlatore telling the jury that "this trial is not about murder. It's about mutiny."