When I look at the above photo, first posted by Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego on Tuesday, I imagine this is the conversation that played out:
Hey mom, I'm at boot camp safe. Can you send me some black cats, Roman Candles, or screaming mimis?
Yeah, and throw in some lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, crap flappers, whistlin' bungholes, spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, and at least one whistlin' kitty chaser.
Love you. I'll write soon.
It was probably something different, but I've got to believe.
The photo went viral, for obvious reasons: The most prominent recruit featured is wearing a mullet haircut and a Budweiser t-shirt. He showed up to boot camp ready to fucking party.
As is customary, shortly after this photo was taken, he and the other recruits were taken to the barber shop where their long flowing locks were last seen being swept into a massive hair pile on the floor. Which is goddamn sad, because that mullet is absolutely glorious.
Besides the photo in question, the comments on the MCRD's Facebook post are gold. They include:
"I’d like to think he skipped the bus ride to MCRD and pulled up burnin rubber in his El Camino with Marlboro smoke pouring out the windows jamming to Skynard before he stepped out then shotgunned a Budweiser."
"He signed the papers in 1990 and made it to Bootcamp in 2018."
"When he tried to speak into the phone, the only thing that came out was the majestic sound of the bald eagle. Copenhagen snuff dribbles into the phone, as he runs his fingers through his long, flowing mullet for the last time for the next few years."
Thank you for your service, Mullet Man. I wish you all the best of luck on your transformation into Mullet Marine.
Members of Marine Heavy Helicopter Squadron 462, Marine Aircraft Group 16, 3rd Marine Aircraft Wing, and 1st Transportation Support Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group, prepare a seven-ton Medium Tactical Vehicle Replacement (MTRV) to be lifted by a CH-53E Super Stallion at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar, Calif., on Jan. 16, 2019. (U.S. Marine Corps/Lance Cpl. Clare J. McIntire)
If you are in the market for any size of military surplus vehicle, keep an eye on GovPlanet. The online auction house is about to start selling U.S. Navy and Marine Corps surplus M1161 ITV Growlers and seven-ton Medium Tactical Vehicle Replacement trucks.
(From left to right) Chris Osman, Chris McKinley, Kent Kroeker, and Talon Burton
At least four American veterans were among a group of eight men arrested by police in Haiti earlier this week for driving without license plates and possessing an arsenal of weaponry and tactical gear.
Police in Port-au-Prince arrested five Americans, two Serbians, and one Haitian man at a police checkpoint on Sunday, according to The Miami-Herald. The men told police they were on a "government mission" but did not specify for which government, according to The Herald.
They also told police that "their boss was going to call their boss," implying that someone high in Haiti's government would vouch for them and secure their release, Herald reporter Jacqueline Charles told NPR.
What they were actually doing or who they were potentially working for remains unclear. A State Department spokesperson told Task & Purpose they were aware that Haitian police arrested a "group of individuals, including some U.S. citizens," but declined to answer whether the men were employed by or operating under contract with the U.S. government.
A marble statue memorializing the founder of the U.S. Army Airborne was set on fire Thursday in North Carolina, and museum officials believe it happened because vandals confused it for a Confederate memorial, according to the Dunn Daily Record and other media outlets.
A top Senate Republican and fierce ally of President Donald Trump reportedly exploded at Acting Defense Secretary Patrick Shanahan recently about the U.S. military's plans to withdraw all troops from Syria by the end of April.
"That's the dumbest f******g idea I've ever heard," Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) reportedly replied when Shanahan confirmed the Trump administration still plans to complete the Syria withdrawal by April 30.
Later, Graham told Shanahan, "I am now your adversary, not your friend."