---
title: "These New Russian Weapons Deserve Embarrassingly Awful Names"
date: "2018-03-02"
modified: "2018-03-02"
authors:
  - name: "Jared Keller"
    job_title: "Former Managing Editor"
    link: "https://taskandpurpose.com/authors/jaredkeller.md"
url: "https://taskandpurpose.com/news/vote-name-russian-weapons-poll/"
categories:
  - "News"
---

# These New Russian Weapons Deserve Embarrassingly Awful Names

![](<https://taskandpurpose.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/02/18987242-1.png>)

Anyone who’s ever had an Internet connection knows that a government body asking hordes of anonymous shitposters for help with official designations is a recipe for disaster. Just consider the R.S.S. Boaty McBoatyface, the autonomous underwater vehicle [deployed](<https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/22/world/europe/boaty-mcboatface-what-you-get-when-you-let-the-internet-decide.html>) by the British government for scientific research in 2016, or Ferry McFerryface, the Welsh transit ferry [named](<https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/boaty-mcboatface>) the next year. There is [no bigger clusterfuck than Internet democracy](<https://mentalfloss.com/article/52524/15-polls-hijacked-internet>), and it’s hilarious.

But if you thought the Russian government, known for its electoral meddling, would immediately see the flaws in asking the Internet to help name a slew of brand-new weapons systems, well, you’d be dead fucking wrong. The Russian Ministry Of Defense is [looking for a few good comrades](<https://vote.mil.ru/>) to dream up names for some feisty looking weapons systems.

![](<https://taskandpurpose.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/02/image-placeholder-title-452.png>)

No, I don’t know what those systems are designated, because no, I don’t speak or read Cyrillic and I’m way too tired to plus in a translation, or really even tweet this for feedback, because fuck you that’s why. But what I do know is this: You’re all very funny and I would love to see a missile interceptor system named ‘R2-D2ski,’ perhaps.

Nothing matters and we’re all going to die so be a pal and let’s maybe [mess around with this poll a bit](<https://vote.mil.ru/>), hmm? [You will be rewarded mightily by our press.](<https://www.vox.com/2017/10/30/16571462/george-papadopoulos-clinton-emails>)

## Author
Jared Keller is the former managing editor of Task & Purpose. His writing has appeared in Aeon, the Los Angeles Review of Books, the New Republic, Pacific Standard, Smithsonian, and The Washington Post, among other publications.

### Author social links  
[Twitter](<https://twitter.com/jaredbkeller>)  
[Facebook](<https://www.facebook.com/jaredbkeller>)  
[LinkedIn](<https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaredbkeller/>)  
[Instagram](<https://www.instagram.com/jaredbkelller/>)

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