Turn Any Bonfire Into Hellfire With These Metal-As-F*ck Steel Skull Logs

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Few things say “I’m the master of my domain and I will murder you if you disrespect my domain” like a pile of human skulls at the heart of a crackling fire. Unfortunately, real human skulls are hard to come by unless you’re Ed Gein or Bane from the “Batman” comics, neither of whom are respectable role models for any decent human being. These gruesome faux skulls crafted from gas logs will have to do.

Photo by Myard

The Myard Deluxe Human Skull Gas Logs are steel-reinforced symbols of your inner villainy, crafted from heat-resistant ceramic and designed to withstand even the hottest of bonfires. Remarkably detailed (and hand-painted!), these specially designed craniums aren’t flammable at all, but they’re the perfect accessory to turn a roaring fire into a set piece from “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.”

At $65 apiece on Amazon, these brain pans aren’t cheap, but they’re certainly durable enough for repeated use. Buy ‘em in white and brown if you want, but we recommend the jet-black version because, ya know, nothing’s more metal than greeting your party guests with a ghastly inferno.