(WIkimedia Commons/Twitter/Task & Purpose)

More than half a million people say they plan on storming the gates of Area 51 in September — and the Air Force is not impressed.

In response to the massively popular viral (and explicitly unserious) Facebook event "Storm Area 51, They Can't Stop All of Us," the Air Force has issued an official warning to please, for the love of God, don't storm Area 51.

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There I found myself, in the jungle, in a situation I never thought I'd find myself in: Surrounded by signs of impending danger, sitting in control of a 17-ton tank and covered from head to toe in brown, gooey mud.

But it was by my own free will that I put myself in this situation at Tank America in Melbourne. Although it's not far from the family-friendly theme parks of Orlando, this experience appeals to a different kind of audience — you can probably leave the kids at home for this one.

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The Coast Guard tends to take more than its fair share of flak for not being as combat focused, aggressive, or militant as the other uniformed services.

Now, Coasties everywhere finally have a perfect response to such nonsense.

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A few troops got the shit end of the stick when they were tasked with pouring individual water bottles into five-gallon jugs to be transported out to the field.

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