The Air National Guard has a problem. No, not pilot retention or cockpit safety. This is hotter: A master sergeant reenlisted with a dinosaur puppet on her good swearing hand!
That now-viral video of Master Sgt. Robin Brown reupping with her little friend has caught the ire of the Guard's top officer, Lt. Gen. Scott Rice. "Let me say, I’m equally shocked and dismayed by this event that mocks such a cherished and honorable occasion," he said of the video on his Facebook page. "This action goes against our very foundation."
Uhhhhhhhh. Maybe; maybe not, general. Even in my very banal, now-ancient service, I saw and heard about some goofy reenlistment ceremonies; I'm willing to bet you have, too, dear reader. So have a gander at our list of weird-ass oath-takings below, and add your own in the comments.
1. The stormtrooper
Isn't he a bit short for a stormtrooper? Somebody tell us the story behind this much-shared video. Looks like it could be the roof deck of Al Faw Palace in Baghdad, but we could really use the Force's help on this one.
2. At gunpoint
"U.S. Army Special Forces soldier reenlisting in Tarin Kowt, Afghanistan," allegedly.rebrn.com
May as well. All your bonus money's gonna go there, anyway.
Lt. Cmdr. Jeffery Laubaugh administers the oath of enlistment to Chief Petty Officer Jared Pringle underwater in Guantanamo Bay, Jan. 14. Pringle is attached to Joint Task Force Guantanamo.U.S. Navy/Lt. j.g. Matthew Gray
Whether you want to literally take a dive when you take the dive, or you just want to be literally salty, this is always a good option. I can't really believe this is okay and a dinosaur puppet isn't.
5. With cool explosions
U.S. Air Force Capt. Joshua Tyler, left, re-enlists Staff Sgt. Andrew Petrulis, Explosive Ordnance Division craftsman, at Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan, Oct. 27, 2008.U.S. Air Force/Staff Sgt. Samuel Morse
It makes sense if you're an EOD. But frankly, I've known a couple of combat service support soldiers whose reenlistments should be attended by lots of explosions and shit breaking.
6. In a gas chamber
Embrace the suck. And the CS chemical agent!
At least it makes these things run quickly.
Got more suggestions? Tell us in the comments. Pics/video or it didn't happen!
Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.
Coast Guard cutter Bertholf on a counterdrug patrol in the eastern Pacific Ocean, March 11, 2018. (U.S. Coast Guard/Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael Trees
U.S. Coast Guard cutter Bertholf left California on January 20 for a months-long mission in the Pacific to support U.S. Indo-Pacific Command, the largest of the U.S. military's geographic combatant commands.
Coast Guardsmen aboard the Bertholf left Alameda on the 30th day of what is now the longest government shutdown in U.S. history. They left a few days after not getting their first paycheck since that shutdown started and without knowing when the next will come.