Airman first class Jack Teixeira is many things: a member of the 102nd Intelligence WIng of the Massachusetts Air National Guard, the alleged source of dozens of classified documents which appeared on popular gaming network Discord earlier this month, and a prolific online racist with a history of posting violent remarks across the Internet.

Amid the chaos that Teixeira, who joined the Guard in 2019 as a Cyber Transport Systems journeyman, has unleashed across the U.S. national security apparatus with his leaks, let’s add “total fucking dork” to the list.

The U.S. government’s motion in support of pretrial detention against Teixeira, filed on Wednesday, states the airman first class “poses a serious flight risk” due to the nature of his crimes and the hefty prison sentence he currently faces and “poses a danger to the U.S. at large” due to an arsenal of multiple weapons maintained in a gun locker “just feet” from his bed at his mother’s house, including “handguns, bolt-action rifles, shotguns, an AK-style high-capacity weapon, and a gas mask.” 

A home arsenal while living in mom’s basement and leaking sensitive intelligence is one thing, but, well, the bedroom itself is painted in camouflage patterns. And we can’t not say something about that.

Jack Teixeria bedroom photos
Airman first class Jack Teixeira’s bedroom. (U.S. Department of Justice)

Now, no one on the Task & Purpose staff is an interior designer (and our editor literally lived in a van at one point), but the camo decor in Teixeira’s room gives off the same vibe as that kid who buys the moto t-shirts from the PX during their basic training family day pass. It’s the vibe of the weird private who can’t qualify with his assigned rifle but still sports a Punisher skull tattoo with flames on his shoulder. 

Does Teixeira drive a Dodge Charger purchased with a 24% interest rate? If his room decor is any indication, he probably does. Would he propose to an exotic dancer working the Saturday afternoon shift after blowing his entire paycheck on no-contact lapdances? We wouldn’t rule it out. 

It’s no wonder that, at the time of this writing, this photo is at the top of r/JustBootThings on reddit. To paraphrase Justice Potter Stewart on pornography: I know boot when I see it. And goddamn, this is peak boot. 

Teixeira currently faces up to 25 years in prison.

The latest on Task & Purpose