The Pocket Chainsaw You Never Knew You Needed Is Finally Here

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Okay, it’s not the ridiculous chainsaw bayonet that USA Today imagined affixed to the end of an AR-15… but this mini chainsaw may be the most delightful mechanical hand tool we’ve seen today.

With 4mm links wrapped around a 12-inch “NanoBlade” (lol), the Bosch EasyCut 12 Mini Chainsaw gives you big cutting power in an elegant, handheld package. Instead of being reserved for slicing up downed trees, this bad boy allows for precision applications on small-scale projects — from home renovations and repairs to body disposal — all with a 12V battery pack.

This is certainly fun as hell for the would-be Tim Taylor, but there’s a unique level of appeal for anyone who’s had to ruck a full-size chainsaw to clear debris, whether as an engineer downrange or a helpful neighbor after a bad storm. But the mini-chainsaw also has a level of warfighting allure to it.

The traditional chainsaw is bulky and unbalanced, extremely noisy, and too power-intensive to ever function as an efficient weapon, beyond the custom versions developed by firearms junkies in anticipation of the zombie apocalypse. But the Bosch EasyCut seems like a civilian development that has a clear military application. as a modern-day adaptation of the Lancer from Gears of War.

Anyway, this is a great tool for declaring war on your weekend home renovation list, and definitely not something you should maybe try to affix to your M4’s Picatinny rail. Definitely not. Absolutely not. No way. Never.