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These Stock Photos Supposedly Portraying Service Members Are All Kinds Of Fail
As veterans, anytime we scroll through Facebook, play around on Twitter, or even change the channel on the TV, we're inundated with ads designed specifically for us. Whether it's a college that wants to get a slice of that G.I. Bill money cake, or some boot company trying to get veterans to buy another pair of uncomfortable footwear, current and former service members are prime targets.
Personally, I don't really mind it, after all they're rarely eye-catching enough to make me stop what I'm doing mid-scroll, though there are some exceptions, like this:
Now, I'm not sure if this ad is a sign of complete ignorance on the part of both the photographer and company that thought this was the photo that was going to win over their audience, or if it's actually a masterful plot to get vets to come out in droves to point out everything wrong with this image. Either way, someone get this man a razor.
The advertisement, which is for Saint Joseph's University Erivan K. Haub School of Business, was taken down 72 hours after running on LinkedIn in February 2017. A spokesperson for the university told Task & Purpose that the photo was a regrettable error and that the student portrayed in the photo is a retired Army officer and not a stock-photo model.
The use of terrible stock photos seems to be pretty common; there are scores of these out there.
That's why I decided to wade through the endless deluge of terrible stock photos on the internet and then mock them ruthlessly for your (and my) enjoyment.
The surplus store general.
Glossing over the completely out of regulations haircut, there's a lot of problems with this guy's uniform, making it seem like he just walked into a military surplus store and started grabbing patches, pins, and badges from a bin. The cover he's wearing doesn't appear to be a U.S. Army cover and the emblem on top doesn't belong to any U.S. military branch as far as I can tell. The jacket's off too — it doesn't have the right buttons — and nothing is in the right place. The ribbons even look like they're either from a foreign country or are actually a house-paint color swatch from Home Depot.
The sexy soldier dog calendar model.
Ah yes, here's a photo that clearly speaks to the innate courage, selflessness, resolve, and pride inherent in all soldiers. After all, nothing says pride of self and conviction to cause quite like posing with a fluffy, curly-haired dog whose breed ends with the word “doodle." Not to mention the fact that her collar is buttoned, and she doesn't appear to have any rank, name tapes, or unit patch. Grooming standards and uniform regulations? Who needs 'em, am I right? Let those beautiful long locks flow.
The base housing cultists.
Looking like a modern military version of Grant Wood's “American Gothic," this has to be the creepiest looking military couple I've ever seen. From the randomly cuffed sleeves on the woman's blouse, to the fact that they both have the last button on the collar done and don't have any nametapes, these two don't even look like Marines. Instead they look like the prime suspects in a military investigation into cult activity on base. Just look at those dead eyes and horrifying smiles. If you've been on base housing you know that's not as far fetched as it sounds.
The (airsoft) operator.
The intent may have been to take a photo that captures the courage and strength of the military's frontline troops, but what we have here is a picture of a guy who clearly just returned from battle where he and his airsoft team riddled the enemy's bodies with tiny plastic balls. From the four rifle rounds stuffed into his MOLLE vest, to the operator hat, nothing says, “I like to pretend to fight for freedom" quite like a posed photo of some random airsoft ranger running around with an American flag.
The random family man.
Anyone who's served in the Marine Corps knows that the quality of a Marine's life while in garrison is entirely dependent upon how recently he got a haircut. Which raises the question, how is this guy so damn happy — he should be in tears from all the ass chewings he must have gotten on his way home from work. Next, there's his cover, which is missing the eagle, globe, and anchor. He also has no name tape above his right breast pocket or “U.S. Marines" above the left pocket. I have a theory though: Maybe he's not a Marine, but a Marine recruit who's been wandering base housing after he escaped from Recruit Depot San Diego during Receiving — the first few days of recruit training before you get assigned to your platoon. It explains the jacked up uniform, and cover, and why he has the top button buttoned up, since you only do that during Receiving on the West coast.
The tactical tablet guy.
Looking like he's in the middle of a really intense game of “Angry Birds" and about to negligently discharge his weapon — weapon's safety is for newbs — this guy is what happens when the airsoft operator actually goes and enlists in the military. Rocking goggles that look like they're for swimming, nothing about his uniform or his gear has any, well, uniformity. The pattern on the blouse and trousers appears to be German — just a hunch based on the flag on his left shoulder — but the cover for his kevlar looks like the Army's universal camouflage pattern, and so does the vest. He's also got a holster that looks like it saw service in Grenada, a pair of knee pads that look like they came with roller blades, and I'm pretty sure I saw those boots in an L.L. Bean catalog a while back.
UPDATE: This article has been updated to include additional information from Saint Joseph's University Erivan K. Haub School of Business. (3/9/17; 12:41 pm)
KABUL (Reuters) - At least 29 members of the Afghan security forces have been killed in Taliban attacks that followed air and ground assaults by government forces on the Islamist group at the weekend.
The surge in hostilities signals deadlock at stop-start peace talks involving U.S and Taliban negotiators in Doha. The Defense Ministry said on Sunday government forces had killed 51 Taliban fighters in the weekend assaults.
But the Taliban hit back, carrying out attacks on security checkpoints in the northern province of Kunduz on Tuesday night in which a security official who declined to be identified said 15 members of the Afghan army were killed.
29 years after Desert Storm, an Air Force general says we’ve forgotten the lessons that made it so successful
When Air Force Gen. Chuck Horner (ret.) took to the podium at the dedication of the National Desert Storm and Desert Shield Memorial site in Washington D.C. last February, he told the audience that people often ask him why a memorial is necessary for a conflict that only lasted about 40 days.
Horner, who commanded the U.S. air campaign of that war, said the first reason is to commemorate those who died in the Gulf War. Then he pointed behind him, towards the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, where the names of over 58,000 Americans who died in Vietnam are etched in granite.
"These two monuments are inexorably linked together," Horner said. "Because we had in Desert Storm a president and a secretary of defense who did the smartest thing in the world: they gave the military a mission which could be accomplished by military force."
The Desert Storm Memorial "is a place every military person that's going to war should visit, and they learn to stand up when they have to, to avoid the stupidness that led to that disaster" in Vietnam, he added.
Now, 29 years after the operation that kicked Saddam Hussein's Iraqi army out of Kuwait began, the U.S. is stuck in multiple wars that Horner says resemble the one he and his fellow commanders tried to avoid while designing Desert Storm.
Horner shared his perspective on what went right in the Gulf War, and what's gone wrong since then, in an interview last week with Task & Purpose.
The Navy SEAL accused of strangling Army Special Forces Staff Sgt. Logan Melgar was promoted to chief petty officer two months after Melgar's death, according to a new report from The Daily Beast.
March Air Reserve Base in California will host nearly 200 U.S. citizens who were flown out of Wuhan, China due to the rapidly-spreading coronavirus, a Defense Department spokeswoman announced on Wednesday.
"March Air Reserve Base and the Department of Defense (DoD) stand ready to provide housing support to Health and Human Services (HHS) as they work to handle the arrival of nearly 200 people, including Department of State employees, dependents and U.S. citizens evacuated from Wuhan, China," said Pentagon press secretary Alyssa Farah in a statement on Wednesday.
Wuhan is the epicenter of the coronavirus, which is a mild to severe respiratory illness that's associated with symptoms of fever, cough and shortness of breath, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The virus has so far killed 132 people and infected nearly 6,000 others in China, according to news reports.
More problems with Air Force's new tanker could put the squeeze on the Pentagon's refueling capabilities, TRANSCOM chief says
Editor's Note: This article originally appeared on Business Insider.
Protracted delays on Boeing's new KC-46 tanker could leave the Pentagon with a shortage of refueling capacity, the head of U.S. Transportation Command warned on Tuesday.