News Analysis

14 Signs The World Is Ending This Week

We’re all going to die. But does it have to be this week?

Hey, it’s a fair question — and it’s why Task & Purpose offers you an at-a-glance Friday roundup of the good, the bad, and the fucked up more than usual in recent military and diplomatic news … plus a few pop-culture signs of the apocalypse. Maintain your situational awareness and try not to freak out.

U.S. Marines assigned to the Female Engagement Team (FET), 22nd Marine Expeditionary Unit practice clearing rooms during an urban operations training exercise at Fort Pickett, Va., Feb. 21, 2016. The FET participated in the training in preparation for a future deployment.U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Koby I. Saunders

  • ISIS now is reportedly using disabled jihadis in wheelchairs to launch suicide bombing attacks, which is pretty much how you’d expect a terrorist group to respond to the rising costs of veteran care.
  • Shockingly, President-Elect Donald Trump is still having trouble finding someone willing to be secretary of the VA, which he’s called “the most incompetently run” federal cabinet agency. Why wouldn’t anyone want a thankless job trying to reform a massive, antiquated bureaucracy in which failing is painted as hating the troops?
  • A former guard for Queen Elizabeth II claims he almost shot the monarch once, mistaking her for an intruder when she took a midnight stroll on the Buckingham Palace grounds. General Order No. 11 works!
  • Duncan Hunter, the vaping Iraq vet and congressman used $600 in campaign funds to fly his pet rabbit on United Airlines. Previously revealed expenses included $1,300 for video games and $300 for food from Jack in the Box (some of which may have been disgusting). Financial impropriety aside, this makes Hunter the most relatable congressman in history.