Culture Humor

Pickett’s Charge In 30 Seconds

Robert E. Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia was a force that continually defied military odds. With exceptional leadership at every level and an impressive will to win, they brought continual defeat to numerically and technologically superior Union forces during the first two years of the American Civil War.

But on July 3, 1863, on the last day of the Civil War’s biggest battle, Robert E. Lee made the most costly mistake of the war for the Confederate Army. With General George Pickett’s division in the lead, over 12,500 Confederate soldiers moved three-quarters of a mile across open farm field to attack Union forces—a charge that would eventually have Pickett’s division suffering over 50% casualties in a demoralizing loss. The Confederate’s overall loss at Gettysburg was a turning point in the war. With rejuvenated morale on the Union’s side, they put continuous pressure on Rebel forces until their eventual surrender less than two years later.

Of course, I’m condensing an extremely nuanced and tactically detailed charge into a 30-second history lesson with stupid voice-overs. Why? Because I ran the numbers and, according to my calculations, America is ready for Pickett’s Charge jokes.