This is the greatest safety brief of all time

In addition to round-the-clock drinking, barbecuing, and restaurant-hopping in search of free and cheap eats, holiday weekends also mean last-minute … Continued

This is the greatest safety brief of all time

In addition to round-the-clock drinking, barbecuing, and restaurant-hopping in search of free and cheap eats, holiday weekends also mean last-minute safety briefs. A tradition all its own, a safety brief is a three- to five-minute preemptive ass-chewing, where an exhausted-looking platoon commander or sergeant begs his troops not to act like savages over the long weekend: “Don’t drink and drive, don’t drink and surf, don’t drink and skydive — if you do skydive, bring a parachute. If you do get too drunk, call (number of the poor schmuck on duty). If you see me at the bar, don’t talk to me. I hate you all.”

But sometimes, the safety brief can actually be pretty entertaining (or depressing when you consider the guidance is based on all the idiotic things Marines/soldiers/sailors/airmen have done over past weekends) — and occasionally, there’s a safety brief so perfect, that it’s practically a work of art.

This video, posted to YouTube back in May 2014 which shows an unnamed Marine platoon sergeant giving guidance and helpful tips like: Yes, you can get a DUI on a Segway.

Related: 7 Other Honors The Marines Should Dish Out During The Birthday Ball »

It also features ample use of the f-bomb, props (aka, a pair of voluntold lance corporals), at least one neon green man thong, and a very accurate rendition of riding a jet ski (though, from the “jet ski’s” perspective, it probably wasn’t that great.)

In honor of the Marine Corps Birthday, and Veterans Day, form up in a school circle and stand by for the greatest weekend safety brief of all time.

James Clark

James Clarkis the Deputy Editor of Task & Purpose and a Marine veteran. He oversees daily editorial operations, edits articles, and supports reporters so they can continue to write the impactful stories that matter to our audience. In terms of writing, James provides a mix of pop culture commentary and in-depth analysis of issues facing the military and veterans community. Contact the author here.

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