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These Veterans Charities Aren't Real, But Goddammit They Should Be
Do you think there are too many veteran nonprofits with unclear goals and way too much overhead? Think again! What the world really needs is more of those.
Introducing Lamp Shades for Heroes, Tactical Giraffes for Ambitious Marines, Old Coats For Virginia Cavalry Scouts, and probably a few hundred unnecessary veteran nonprofits, all cobbled together with the help of an algorithm and a heavy dose of sarcasm.
These names are just a few of those auto-generated by Everything for Warriors, a gag site that playfully lampoons the flood of 501(c)(3) organizations devoted to military veterans that have emerged in recent years.
As Chad Garland with Stars and Stripes reported yesterday, the site was created by Brian Wilson, who served in Iraq during his six years in the National Guard and now works at Combined Arms, a (very real) nonprofit that connects connects Houston-based veterans with vetted charities in the area.
"There are some 250 places that offer help to veterans in Houston alone," Wilson told Stars and Stripes. "Some have disappeared, some have been investigated for fraud, some have succeeded and some ... are just there not really making an impact."
The site generates its names from hundreds of phrases and nouns and then sprinkles in bits of military jargon, which is how you end up with gems like this:
So, pretty much your standard care package?Everything For Warriors
Which got us thinking? Which of these faux foundations would we actually want? Glad you asked.
Pencils For Lackadaisical Transportation Specialists
Tactical Giraffes For Ambitious Marines
Velcro Wallets For Prudish Heroes
Old Coats For West Virginia Cavalry Scouts
Lamp Shades For Heroes
Shawls For Chronically Late Cavalry Scouts
Birth Control For American Marines
Pickles For Utah C-130 Pilots
Fancy Hats For Wisconsin Yeoman
Flintlock Rifles For Rancid Marines
Lunch Meats For Virginia Public Affairs Officers
Books For Scrawny Enlisted
SEE ALSO: A Sailor Was Apparently Worried About Pissing Hot, So He Allegedly Set Urine Samples On Fire
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A sprawling new survey says a ‘culture of resilience’ helped US military families weather housing woes for years
A new survey of thousands of military families released on Wednesday paints a negative picture of privatized military housing, to say the least.
The Military Family Advisory Network surveyed 15,901 adults at 160 locations around the country who are either currently living in privatized military housing, or had lived in privatized housing within the last three years. One of the report's primary takeaways can be summarized in two lines: "Most responses, 93 percent, came from residents living in housing managed by six companies. None of them had average satisfaction rates at or above neutral."
Those six companies are Lincoln Military Housing, Balfour Beatty, Hunt, Lendlease/Winn, Corvias, and Michaels.
What's behind these responses? MFAN points to the "culture of resilience" found in the military community for why military families may be downplaying the severity of their situations, or putting up with subpar conditions.
"[Military] families will try to manage grim living conditions without complaint," MFAN says in its report. "The norm of managing through challenges, no matter their severity, is deeply established in military family life."
Decorated Vietnam vet presents Purple Heart and Bronze Star to family of slain UNC Charlotte shooting hero
Hailed as a hero for knocking a shooter off his feet in a UNC Charlotte classroom, Riley Howell was posthumously awarded two of the military's highest honors in his hometown of Waynesville, North Carolina this week.
Howell, 21, and classmate Ellis "Reed" Parlier, 19, died when a gunman opened fire in their classroom in the Kennedy building on April 30.
CAIRO (Reuters) - After losing territory, ISIS fighters are turning to guerrilla war — and the group's newspaper is telling them exactly how to do it.
In recent weeks, IS's al-Naba online newspaper has encouraged followers to adopt guerrilla tactics and published detailed instructions on how to carry out hit-and-run operations.
The group is using such tactics in places where it aims to expand beyond Iraq and Syria. While IS has tried this approach before, the guidelines make clear the group is adopting it as standard operating procedure.