The Ultimate Barracks Lawyer Is Now The Ultimate Barracks Judge

Jared Keller Avatar

The former Army officer behind possibly one of the most absurd legal advertisements in history will now preside over a small segment of the U.S. justice system.

In Guilford County, North Carolina, Attorney Larry L. Archie — a former officer in the North Carolina Army National Guard and current major in the Army Reserve — ousted incumbent District Judge Jonathan Kreider with 57.6 percent of the vote on Election Day.

Sure, a local judicial race is small beans compared to some of the other veteran-heavy races this cycle, but Archie’s name should sound familiar: it’s because he’s the attorney behind this perennially-viral billboard proclaiming, ‘Just Because You Did It Doesn’t Mean Your Guilty.’

Even better: This is a piece of OJ Simpson-level legal advice we unknowingly posted to the Task & Purpose Instagram feed nottwo f*ckingdays ago.

We congratulate Archie on seemingly ascending from the ranks of lowly barracks lawyer to the level of supreme authority that is a judgeship, and we apologize for incorrectly citing your rank on Instagram.

Now, can you help me negotiate for a higher interest rate on my Mustang or do I have to call Duncan Hunter for legal advice?