No mask can protect you better than a PT belt mask

As every staff commissioned officer knows, PT belts are (non-scientifically) proven to reduce the likelihood that you’ll get hit by a car, or that you’ll be yelled at for not wearing one — and 60 percent of the time, it works every time.

See, they’re practically magic. So who wouldn’t want to combine the power of a PT belt with the actual scientifically proven effectiveness of wearing a face mask to stop the spread of germs, especially during a global pandemic?

Well, everyone can rest easy now: 

Although the tweet from Command Sgt. Maj. Rocky L. Carr with Military Surface Deployment and Distribution Command doesn’t point out a specific maker for the PT-belt face masks, a quick Google search pulls up a few other options from online markets, including one seller who promises that the mask will be “MAKE IN THE USA.”

As of press time, it doesn’t appear that any of these retailers sell the mask in size “Hooah.” Oh well.

Related: Army finally realizes reflective belts aren’t needed in daylight