Ecuador To Julian Assange: Clean Up After Your Damn Cat

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The Ecuadorean embassy in London has sent Julian Assange a memo instructing him to clean his freaking bathroom and take better care of his cat.


The nine-page memo, written in Spanish, instructed the Wikileaks founder to look after the "well-being, food, hygiene, and proper care" of the cat, or potentially face the pet being taken from him and placed in an animal shelter, The Guardian reported.

Assange, who was granted political asylum by Ecuador in August 2012 amid allegations of sexual assault in Sweden, has been holed up in the embassy ever since. Ecuador cut off his internet access in March 2018 after saying he had breached an agreement "to the government at the end of 2017 not to issue messages that might interfere with other states."

Now, Ecuador has a few more rules to put in place besides their year-old edict of stop messing with other nations' business since you're making us look bad.

It also said:

  • Assange needs to give them a heads up if he's going to have frequent visitors, while adding that it could accept or deny visitors without explanation.
  • He needed to undergo (and personally pay for) quarterly medical evaluations in "order to safeguard [his] health and physical well-being."
  • Assange and his visitors need clean the bathroom and other spaces they use inside the Embassy.
  • He can only use the WiFi for his personal computer and phone, and can't install any other equipment.

Assange's lawyer likened the guidelines to "a prison regime," echoing Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly's similar declaration in the movie Step Brothers.

Now you can relive the glory days of screaming "fire for effect" before lobbing rounds down range, and you can do it from the comfort of your own backyard, or living room, without having to worry that some random staff sergeant is going to show up and chew you out for your unsat face scruff and Johnny Bravo 'do.

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The leader of a Chicago-area street gang has been arrested and charged with attempting to aid the ISIS terrorist group, the Department of Justice said Friday.

Jason Brown, also known as "Abdul Ja'Me," allegedly gave $500 on three separate occasions in 2019 to a confidential informant Brown believed would then wire it to an ISIS fighter engaged in combat in Syria. The purported ISIS fighter was actually an undercover law enforcement officer, according to a DoJ news release.

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Jacob Daniel Price (Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office)

An ex-Marine faces premeditated murder charges after admitting to killing his parents and the two family dogs, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office.

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My brother earned the Medal of Honor for saving countless lives — but only after he was left for dead

"As I learned while researching a book about John, the SEAL ground commander, Cmdr. Tim Szymanski, had stupidly and with great hubris insisted on insertion being that night."

Opinion

Editor's Note: The following is an op-ed. The opinions expressed are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Task & Purpose.

Air Force Master Sgt. John "Chappy" Chapman is my brother. As one of an elite group, Air Force Combat Control — the deadliest and most badass band of brothers to walk a battlefield — John gave his life on March 4, 2002 for brothers he never knew.

They were the brave men who comprised a Quick Reaction Force (QRF) that had been called in to rescue the SEAL Team 6 team (Mako-30) with whom he had been embedded, which left him behind on Takur Ghar, a desolate mountain in Afghanistan that topped out at over 10,000 feet.

As I learned while researching a book about John, the SEAL ground commander, Cmdr. Tim Szymanski, had stupidly and with great hubris insisted on insertion being that night. After many delays, the mission should and could have been pushed one day, but Szymanski ordered the team to proceed as planned, and Britt "Slab" Slabinski, John's team leader, fell into step after another SEAL team refused the mission.

But the "plan" went even more south when they made the rookie move to insert directly atop the mountain — right into the hands of the bad guys they knew were there.

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Sen. Rick Scott is backing a bipartisan bill that would allow service members to essentially sue the United States government for medical malpractice if they are injured in the care of military doctors.

The measure has already passed the House and it has been introduced in the Senate, where Scott says he will sign on as a co-sponsor.

"As a U.S. Senator and member of the Senate Armed Services Committee, taking care of our military members, veterans and their families is my top priority," the Florida Republican said in a statement.

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