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F-35 becomes first fifth-generation aircraft to draw a 'sky penis'
The F-35 completed yet another milestone on Tuesday by becoming the first fifth-generation aircraft to draw a giant dick in the sky.
People near Luke Air Force Base in Arizona got a view of the "penis contrail" that Fox 10 Phoenix said "vaguely resembles the male anatomy."
Vaguely? Oh, come on.
While a historic first for the troubled F-35 program, officials insisted that this time, the sky dong was accidental and was not pre-planned by the pilots involved.
"We've seen the photos that have been circulating online from Tuesday afternoon," a Luke Air Force Base spokesperson told Task & Purpose.
"56th Fighter Wing senior leadership reviewed the training tapes from the flight and confirmed that F-35s conducting standard fighter training maneuvers Tuesday afternoon in the Gladden and Bagdad military operating airspace resulted in the creation of the contrails. There was no nefarious or inappropriate behavior during the training flight."
Maj. Rebecca Heyse explained to Task & Purpose that there were six total F-35's carrying out an air-to-air training flight on Tuesday, with two serving as "blue air," or friendly forces, and four more serving as "red" enemy forces. The phallic-shaped contrail showed up incidentally to the "blue" aircraft flying in circles as they were waiting for word that "red" air was ready to be engaged.
"What you're not seeing is there is a third vertical contrail that's outside" many of the photos posted online, Heyse said.
Still, I've been reporting on the military for over seven years, and I can tell you the number of military aircraft drawing penis-shaped clouds in the sky has reached unprecedented levels. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if they added Sky Dick Drawing alongside the tried-and-true Split-S and Scissors of "standard fighter training maneuvers."
The news out of Luke comes just weeks after Navy Times got its hands on the transcript of the most infamous "sky penis" incident of all from 2017, in which the pilot and electronic warfare officer did their own sky dong-writing but lamented that the balls "are going to be a little lopsided," among other choice quotes.
Marine pilots attempted their own sky penis near Marine Corps Air Station Miramar in Nov. 2018. They later received administrative punishment.
Moments before Army Staff Sgt. David Bellavia went back into the house, journalist Michael Ware said he was "pacing like a caged tiger ... almost like he was talking to himself."
"I distinctly remember while everybody else had taken cover temporarily, there out in the open on the street — still exposed to the fire from the roof — was David Bellavia," Ware told Task & Purpose on Monday. "David stopped pacing, he looked up and sees that the only person still there on the street is me. And I'm just standing there with my arms folded.
"He looked up from the pacing, stared straight into my eyes, and said 'Fuck it.' And I stared straight back at him and said 'Fuck it,'" Ware said. "And that's when I knew, we were both going back in that house."
Former Army Special Forces Maj. Matthew Golsteyn will plead not guilty to a charge of murder for allegedly shooting an unarmed Afghan man whom a tribal leader had identified as a Taliban bomb maker, his attorney said.
Golsteyn will be arraigned on Thursday morning at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, Phillip Stackhouse told Task & Purpose.
No date has been set for his trial yet, said Lt. Col. Loren Bymer, a spokesman for U.S. Army Special Operations Command.
John Wick is back, and he's here to stay. It doesn't matter how many bad guys show up to try to collect on that bounty.
With John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum, the titular hitman, played by 54-year-old Keanu Reeves, continues on a blood-soaked hyper-stylized odyssey of revenge: first for his slain dog, then his wrecked car, then his destroyed house, then ... well, honestly it's hard to keep track of exactly what Wick is avenging by this point, or the body count he's racked up in the process.
Though we do know that the franchise has raked in plenty of success at the box office: just a week after it's May 17 release, the third installment in director Chad Stahleski's series took in roughly $181 million, making it even more successful than its two wildly popular prequels 2014's John Wick, and 2017's John Wick: Chapter 2.
And, more importantly, Reeves' hitman is well on his way to becoming one of the greatest action movie heroes in recent memory. Few (if any) other action flicks have succeeded in creating a mind-blowing avant garde ballet out of a dozen well-dressed gunmen who get shot, choked, or stabbed with a pencil by a pissed off hitman who just wants to return to retirement.
But for all the over-the-top acrobatics, fight sequences, and gun-porn (see: the sommelier), what makes the series so enthralling, especially for the service members and vets in the audience, is that there are some refreshing moments of realism nestled under all of that gun fu. Wrack your brain and try to remember the last time you saw an action hero do a press check during a shootout, clear a jam, or actually, you know, reload, instead of just hip-firing 300 rounds from an M16 nonstop. It's cool, we'll wait.
As it turns out, there's a good reason for the caliber of gun-play in John Wick. One of the franchise's secret weapons is a professional three-gun shooter named Taran Butler, who told Task & Purpose he can draw and hit three targets in 0.67 seconds from 10 yards. And if you've watched any of the scores of videos he's uploaded to social media over the years, it's pretty clear that this isn't idle boasting.
The Navy's electromagnetic railgun is undergoing what officials described as "essentially a shakedown" of critical systems before finally installing a tactical demonstrator aboard a surface warship, the latest sign that the once-beleaguered supergun may actually end up seeing combat.
That pretty much means this is could be the last set of tests before actually slapping this bad boy onto a warship, for once.
The Justice Department has accused Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) of illegally using campaign funds to pay for extramarital affairs with five women.
Hunter, who fought in the Iraq War as a Marine artillery officer, and his wife Margaret were indicated by a federal jury on Aug. 21, 2018 for allegedly using up to $250,000 in campaign funds for personal use.
In a recent court filing, federal prosecutors accused Hunter of using campaign money to pay for a variety of expenses involved with his affairs, ranging from a $1,008 hotel bill to $7 for a Sam Adams beer.