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F-35 becomes first fifth-generation aircraft to draw a 'sky penis'
The F-35 completed yet another milestone on Tuesday by becoming the first fifth-generation aircraft to draw a giant dick in the sky.
People near Luke Air Force Base in Arizona got a view of the "penis contrail" that Fox 10 Phoenix said "vaguely resembles the male anatomy."
Vaguely? Oh, come on.
While a historic first for the troubled F-35 program, officials insisted that this time, the sky dong was accidental and was not pre-planned by the pilots involved.
"We've seen the photos that have been circulating online from Tuesday afternoon," a Luke Air Force Base spokesperson told Task & Purpose.
"56th Fighter Wing senior leadership reviewed the training tapes from the flight and confirmed that F-35s conducting standard fighter training maneuvers Tuesday afternoon in the Gladden and Bagdad military operating airspace resulted in the creation of the contrails. There was no nefarious or inappropriate behavior during the training flight."
Maj. Rebecca Heyse explained to Task & Purpose that there were six total F-35's carrying out an air-to-air training flight on Tuesday, with two serving as "blue air," or friendly forces, and four more serving as "red" enemy forces. The phallic-shaped contrail showed up incidentally to the "blue" aircraft flying in circles as they were waiting for word that "red" air was ready to be engaged.
"What you're not seeing is there is a third vertical contrail that's outside" many of the photos posted online, Heyse said.
Still, I've been reporting on the military for over seven years, and I can tell you the number of military aircraft drawing penis-shaped clouds in the sky has reached unprecedented levels. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if they added Sky Dick Drawing alongside the tried-and-true Split-S and Scissors of "standard fighter training maneuvers."
The news out of Luke comes just weeks after Navy Times got its hands on the transcript of the most infamous "sky penis" incident of all from 2017, in which the pilot and electronic warfare officer did their own sky dong-writing but lamented that the balls "are going to be a little lopsided," among other choice quotes.
Marine pilots attempted their own sky penis near Marine Corps Air Station Miramar in Nov. 2018. They later received administrative punishment.
Actor Mark Wahlberg will be visiting troops overseas to plug Wahlburgers, a fast-casual restaurant chain owned by the actor and his two brothers, Donnie Wahlberg, and chef Paul Wahlberg.
US troops will not burn and pillage like Genghis Khan's hordes as a result of Trump intervening in war crimes cases, Milley says
The U.S. military will not disintegrate into an undisciplined horde following President Donald Trump's recent intervention in three war crimes cases, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Army Gen. Mark Milley assured lawmakers on Wednesday.
Milley was testifying before the House Armed Services Committee when he was pressed by Iraq war veteran Rep. Seth Moulton (D-Mass.) about the president's actions in the cases of former Army 1st Lt. Clint Lorance, retired Army Maj. Matthew Golsteyn, and retired Navy SEAL Chief Eddie Gallagher.
Taliban fighters attempted to fight their way into Bagram Airfield on Wednesday by invading a medical facility just outside of the base's perimeter, a spokesman for Operation Resolute Support said Wednesday.
J.P. Lawrence of Stars and Stripes and Jim LaPorta of Newsweek first reported that the battle lasted for several hours after using car bombs to attack the hospital, which is near the base's northern corner. Helicopter and fixed-wing aircraft were reportedly used to drop ordnance on the hospital.
An armed suspect was taken into custody at Naval Air Station Corpus Christi on Wednesday morning after a brief lockdown period, according to the Texas base's Facebook account.
Though the exact nature of the incident is unclear, base officials wrote that no shots were fired and no injuries were reported.
The new defense bill would create a public database for every complaint made about privatized housing
Among the dozens of requirements outlined in the latest version of the National Defense Authorization Act is the requirement for the Secretary of Defense to create a public database for privatized housing complaints.
So, that will be... a lot.