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The transcript of the pilots talking through their creation of 'sky dong' is even better than their drawing
It's long been known that two Navy pilots were behind the infamous "sky dick" episode of 2017, but thanks to Geoff Ziezulewicz at Navy Times, we have a cockpit transcript of the ballsy pair of aviators as they formulated and then executed their flight into military aviation history.
"Draw a giant penis. That would be awesome," the electronic warfare officer told the pilot after they had finished a training flight near Naval Air Station Whidbey Island on Nov. 16, 2017, according to a report of the investigation into the incident obtained by Navy Times.
The investigation, thankfully, included the in-flight conversation from a video recording system in the aircraft, and it is absolutely hilarious.
"What did you do on your flight?" the pilot joked in response to the EWO's suggestion. "Oh, we turned dinosaurs into sky penises."
"You should totally try to draw a penis," the EWO said again, stopping just short of hitting him with a "no balls" comment that always leads to smart decisions.
The pilot then said "that would be easy" to do, explaining to the EWO that he could draw a figure-eight pattern to make a giant majestic penis from the contrail of his EA-18G "Growler" aircraft that "airliners coming back on their way into Seattle" would be able to see.
"We could almost draw a vein in the middle of it too."
Eventually, they got down to business. And with training and precision that will no doubt inspire naval aviators of the future, they calmly talked through their flight to make sure the sky penis was as amazing as possible.
Here's Navy Times:
"Balls are going to be a little lopsided," the pilot advised.
"Balls are complete," he reported moments later. "I just gotta navigate a little bit over here for the shaft."
"Which way is the shaft going?" the EWO asked.
"The shaft will go to the left," the pilot answered.
"It's gonna be a wide shaft," the EWO noted.
"I don't wanna make it just like 3 balls," the pilot said.
"Let's do it," the EWO said. "Oh, the head of that penis is going to be thick."
"Some like Chinese weather satellite right now that's like, 'what the (expletive)?'" the pilot surmised.
"To get out of this, I'm gonna go like down and to the right," the pilot said. "And we'll come back up over the top and try to take a look at it."
"I have a feeling the balls will have dissipated by then," his partner answered.
"It's possible," the pilot said.
They flew away to a distance where they could take in their work.
They cracked up in the cockpit as their sky penis came into full view, snapping pics they would later delete once they realized their command would likely go apoplectic.
"Oh yes, that was (expletive)ing amazing," the pilot said. "This is so obvious."
"That's a (expletive)," the EWO said. "Dude, I'm amazed that this stayed."
As the pair took in their majestic aerial artwork, it then dawned on them that, holy crap, this thing is really staying in place and a whole lot of people are going to see this, according to the investigation: "Soon after, I realized the extent of our actions," the pilot wrote later.
Of course, we know the rest of this story. Once they were on the ground, images of the sky dong were already moving rapidly around the internet, which inspired countless news stories, copycat attempts by other military aviators, and even think-pieces in their defense.
DUBAI (Reuters) - Iran announced on Monday it had captured 17 spies working for the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and sentenced some of them to death, deepening a crisis between the Islamic Republic and the West.
Iranian state television published images that it said showed the CIA officers who had been in touch with the suspected spies.
In a statement read on state television, the Ministry of Intelligence said 17 spies had been arrested in the 12 months to March 2019. Some have been sentenced to death, according to another report.
One of the few things that aggravates your friend and humble narrator more than hazelnut flavored coffee is Soviet apologists.
Case in point: A recent opinion piece in the New York Times claims the Soviet space program was a model for equality, noting the Soviets put a woman into space 20 years before NASA when Cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova orbited the Earth in 1963.
"Cosmonaut diversity was key for the Soviet message to the rest of the globe: Under socialism, a person of even the humblest origins could make it all the way up," wrote Sophie Pinkham just in time for the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing.
This 100-year-old vet escaped a Nazi prison camp. Now he's at the center of a lawsuit over a Bible at his local VA
Herman "Herk" Streitburger was on his final bombing mission and due to go home when his plane was hit by German fighters over Hungary in 1944. He was captured and held as a prisoner of war, enduring starvation, forced marches and a harrowing escape.
Streitburger just turned 100 years old. That makes him a national treasure as well as a Granite State hero.
Streitburger, who lives in Bedford, gets around using a cane and remains active in POW groups and events. It was he who donated his family Bible to a POW "missing man" display at the VA Medical Center in Manchester, which prompted a federal First Amendment lawsuit.
And every year, he tells his World War II story to Manchester schoolchildren. It's a story worth retelling.
A new Marine Corps anti-drone system that attaches to all-terrain vehicles and can scan the skies for enemy aircraft from aboard Navy ships was responsible for destroying an Iranian drone, Military.com has learned.
Bob Pollock became known as perhaps one of the most dedicated people around Crofton, Maryland committed to honoring those who serve the nation. It only made sense, as the creator of the Two Rivers community monument told neighbors and friends he was a former Navy SEAL and had been a prisoner of war.
Except he wasn't.