When an Army specialist’s leave request to attend a baby shower was bounced back to him with the words “MEN DONT GO TO BABY SHOWERS” written in red pen, he resubmitted it with the manliest remarks of all time.
The second request reads like something out of a “Walker, Texas Ranger” episode:
“Going home to Appalachian mountains to drink whiskey, wrestle bears, and shoot lots of guns. I also plan to grow out a beard, chop down a hundred trees with my axe and eat 10lbs of thick cut bacon with my wife, whom I plan to have lots of unprotected sex with, because I am a man and that’s just what we do. Football.”
In a recent Reddit thread, users debated whether or not the second request would pass muster with the soldier’s commanding officer, and suggested alternate remarks for the request.
While it’s unclear whether or not his leave was eventually approved, this soldier certainly raised the bar when it comes to requesting liberty.
For any troops worried about being denied leave because their request isn’t manly enough, just tell your commanding officer you’ll spend your off-time drunkenly punching large mammals in the face. That should do the trick.
Also, football.