There’s Some Bizarre Humor Hidden In The Army's Aviation Safety Magazine

Humor
Screenshot from the Army's online newsletter, "Flightfax," issue number 51.

Army aviators have been reading Flightfax — the U.S. Army’s online newsletter for “aircraft mishap prevention information” — since the Vietnam War. The magazine, which is published by the Army Safety Center in Fort Rucker, Alabama, has evolved through the years and even halted production from 2007 until 2011. It offers the entire Army aviation community candid, transparent feedback following fixed- and rotary-wing mishaps. It also contains some seriously cheesy jokes.


There’s something surreal about finding Jack Handey-style humor in a magazine focused on aviation safety, especially as the most recent issue addresses a 10-day streak during which eight air crew members died in three separate accidents, prompting a nationwide safety stand down.  

The one-liners are inserted on pages randomly, without any context, and may have gone unnoticed for so long because Flightfax’ readership dwindled to just over 1,500 subscribers of as the summer 2015 edition — a fraction of the readership of most military blogs.

In an email to Task & Purpose, Michael J. Negard, the director of communication and public affairs for U.S. Army Combat Readiness, said they have discontinued the use of jokes in Flightfax, “[i]n an attempt to apply stricter editorial guidelines to ensure all content is aligned to its core purpose of preventing accidental loss.”

That said, we pulled pages from Flightfax below to highlight some of our favorite jokes hidden within the magazine’s pages.

From the latest issue: Number 51, September - December 2015

From Issue Number 50, June - August 2015

From Issue Number 46, February 2015

From Issue Number 45, January 2015

From Issue Number 43, November 2014

UPDATE: This article was updated to incorporate a statement from the director of communication and public affairs for U.S. Army Combat Readiness. (1/25/2016; 2:47 pm) 

With northeast Syria engulfed in the fog of war, the Turks, Russians, and Kurds have all launched their own propaganda campaigns to win the battle over information.

One of the biggest unknowns at the moment involves exactly how many ISIS fighters and their families previously captured by the Syrian Democratic Forces have managed to escape since Turkey invaded Kurdish-held Syria on Oct. 6, 2019.

But while Defense Secretary Mark Esper has blamed Turkey for catalyzing the release of "many dangerous ISIS detainees", a senior administration official was unable to say on Monday exactly how many ISIS prisoners may have escaped.

Based on open source reporting, about 850 women and children affiliated with ISIS are believed to have fled a detainee camp at Ayn Issa and another five ISIS prisoners escaped from a prison at Qamishli, said Caitlin Forrest, director of operations for the Institute for the Study of War think tank in Washington, D.C.

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That's the logic behind the so-called "Lightning Carrier" concept designed to turn those "Gator Navy" amphibs into ad hoc aircraft carriers — and the Corps appears to be moving slowly but surely into turning that concept into a new doctrine for the new era of great power competition.

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The National Transportation Safety Board released its preliminary report into the fatal crash of a B-17 bomber crash in Connecticut earlier this month.

Shortly after takeoff at 9:50 a.m. on Wednesday, Oct. 2, the pilot of the vintage WWII-era plane signaled to air traffic control at Bradley International Airport that he sought to land.

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While America's forever wars continue to rage abroad, the streaming wars are starting to heat up at home.

On Monday, the Walt Disney Company announced that its brand new online streaming service, aptly titled Disney+, will launch an all-out assault on eyeballs around the world with an arsenal of your favorite content starting on November 12th. Marvel Cinematic Universe content! Star Wars content! Pixar content! Classic Disney animation content!

While the initial Disney+ content lineup looks like the most overpowered alliance since NATO, there's one addition of particular interest hidden in Disney's massive Twitter announcement, an elite strike force with a unique mission that stands ready to eliminate streaming enemies like Netflix and Hulu no matter where they may hide.

That's right, I'm talking about Operation Dumbo Drop — and no, I am not fucking around.

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Editor's Note: This article originally appeared on Business Insider.

On Monday, The New York Times reported that U.S. officials were considering plans to move the U.S. nuclear arsenal from Inçirlik Air Base in Turkey.

This move would be likely to further deteriorate the tense relationship between the U.S. and Turkey, which has rapidly devolved as Turkey invaded northeastern Syria in assault on the Kurdish forces that fought ISIS alongside the U.S.

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