Trump reportedly wants some real Dr. Evil sh*t at the US-Mexico border

Where are the sharks with frickin' laser beams? (Task & Purpose photo illustration)

President Donald Trump reportedly discussed fortifying the U.S.-Mexico border with a moat populated by snakes and alligators, among other lethal ideas for stemming the flow of migrants across the southern border, according to a batshit insane new report in the New York Times.

During a March meeting with White House advisers, Trump reportedly floated the prospect of "a water-filled trench, stocked with snakes or alligators" that would encircle an electrified border fence "with spikes on top that could pierce human flesh," according to the New York Times.

Trump also suggested allowing U.S. service members to fire on migrants should they throw rocks as military personnel.

"After publicly suggesting that soldiers shoot migrants if they threw rocks, the president backed off when his staff told him that was illegal," the New York Times reports. "But later in a meeting, aides recalled, he suggested that they shoot migrants in the legs to slow them down. That's not allowed either, they told him."

Trump had previously suggested in November 2018 that U.S. service members who encounter migrants armed with rocks "will consider that a firearm – because there's not much difference when you get hit in the face with a rock."

However, U.S. Army North documents published by Newsweek established that service members at the border are operating under the Standing Rules For The Use Of Force, which authorized troops to respond only in self-defense, and only in a proportional manner.

"Our standard rules of force apply here," U.S. Northern Command spokesman Air Force Capt. Lauren Hill told Task & Purpose at the time. "As with anything, deadly force is authorized in self-defense for those faced with an imminent threat of death or serious bodily harm."

The snake- and alligator-filled moat, however, seems a bit more ambiguous. According to the New York Times, Trump's idea "[prompted] aides to seek a cost estimate" for the project, which I absolutely cannot wait to obtain under a Freedom of Information Act request.

In the meantime, Task & Purpose has obtained exclusive footage of that March Oval Office meeting:

Dr. Evil — sharks with laser beams attached to their heads — HD

The Pentagon's top spokesman tried to downplay recent revelations by the Washington Post that U.S. government officials have consistently misled the American public about the war in Afghanistan for nearly two decades.

Washington Post reporter Craig Whitlock first brought to light that several top officials acknowledged to the Office of the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction that the war was going badly despite their optimistic public statements. The report, based on extensive interviews and internal government data, also found that U.S. officials manipulated statistics to create the public perception that the U.S. military was making progress in Afghanistan.

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Katherine Burton was sitting on her couch when she heard a scream.

Though she had not yet met her upstairs neighbors, Army. Col. Jerel Grimes and his wife Ellizabeth, Burton went to investigate almost immediately. "I knew it was a cry for help," she recalled of the August 1 incident.

Above her downstairs apartment in Huntsville, Alabama, Jerel and Ellizabeth had been arguing. They had been doing a lot of that lately. According to Ellizabeth, Jerel, a soldier with 26 years of service and two Afghanistan deployments under his belt, had become increasingly controlling in the months since the couple had married in April, forcing her to share computer passwords, receipts for purchases, and asking where she was at all times.

"I was starting to realize how controlling he was, and how manipulative he was," Ellizabeth said. "And he'd never been this way towards me in the 15 years that I've known him."

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Aerial footage of the vehicle involved in the June 6, 2019 rollover at West Point that left one cadet dead and 21 others injured. (NBC News screenshot)

Staff Sgt. Ladonies Strong, the soldier charged in September over a deadly vehicle rollover at West Point, will face trial by court-martial, reported and Task & Purpose confirmed.

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Taliban fighters attempted to fight their way into Bagram Airfield on Wednesday by invading a medical facility just outside of the base's perimeter, a spokesman for Operation Resolute Support said Wednesday.

J.P. Lawrence of Stars and Stripes and Jim LaPorta of Newsweek first reported that the battle lasted for several hours after using car bombs to attack the hospital, which is near the base's northern corner. Helicopter and fixed-wing aircraft were reportedly used to drop ordnance on the hospital.

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(Department of Defense)

Actor Mark Wahlberg will be visiting troops overseas to plug Wahlburgers, a fast-casual restaurant chain owned by the actor and his two brothers, Donnie Wahlberg, and chef Paul Wahlberg.

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