Get Task & Purpose in your inbox
Police say this drunk Marine lance corporal broke into a home and started cooking himself breakfast
A drunk as fuck 19-year-old Marine lance corporal allegedly broke into a home in Safety Harbor, Florida and cooked himself up some breakfast before telling the homeowner to "go back to sleep" after he was confronted, according to police.
Lance Cpl. Gavin Crim, of Palm Harbor, Florida, went into the home through an unlocked back door at about 4 a.m. on Tuesday, police told Fox 13, before he started participating in an episode of Alcoholic Iron Chef in some rando's kitchen.
Given that hearing someone cooking at 4 a.m. seems rather suspicious, the home owner walked in on Crim and most likely asked what the hell he was doing. Crim responded by allegedly telling him to go back to sleep, at which point the homeowner threatened to call the cops. Crim then apparently realized, oh shit, that is not my mom, and ran out of the house into the woods, according to police.
At this point I would like to remind you this is not a Duffel Blog article. This actually happened.
Anyway, the police found him in the woods, under the influence of alcohol, and he admitted to the break-in, according to Fox 13.
He was booked at 5:25 a.m. and charged with one count of burglary. Crim paid $1,000 bond and was released on Wednesday.
In case you thought this story couldn't get any better, Crim posted this to Facebook in May:
Still, Crim isn't alone. In February, a 27-year-old sailor was arrested inside the home of a Japanese couple who found him naked after he had used their shower, according to Stripes.
Crim is currently assigned to 2nd Battalion, 7th Marines out in Twentynine Palms, California, where I have little doubt unit leadership is eagerly awaiting his return. An 0341 infantry mortar man, Crim was promoted to lance corporal in August.
CAMP PENDLETON — The military prosecution of a Coast Guardsman accused of murder began Wednesday with a preliminary hearing at Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton.
Seaman Ethan W. Tucker, 21, was arrested August 28 after a seven-month Coast Guard investigation into the January death of Seaman Ethan Kelch, 19, who served on the same ship as Tucker— the Kodiak, Alaska-based high endurance cutter Douglas Munro.
ANKARA (Reuters) - President Tayyip Erdogan said on Saturday Turkey would press on with its offensive into northeastern Syria and "crush the heads of terrorists" if a deal with Washington on the withdrawal of Kurdish fighters from the area were not fully implemented.
Erdogan agreed on Thursday in talks with U.S. Vice President Mike Pence a five-day pause in the offensive to allow time for the Kurdish fighters to withdraw from a "safe zone" Turkey aims to establish in northeast Syria near the Turkish border.
President Trump stoked confusion Friday by declaring the U.S. has "secured the Oil" in the Middle East amid continued fallout from the Turkish invasion of northern Syria that he enabled by pulling American troops out of the region.
It wasn't immediately clear what the president was talking about, as there were no publicly known developments in Syria or elsewhere in the Middle East relating to oil. White House aides did not return requests for comment.
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A U.S. State Department investigation of Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server while she was secretary of state has found no evidence of deliberate mishandling of classified information by department employees.
The investigation, the results of which were released on Friday by Republican U.S. Senator Chuck Grassley's office, centered on whether Clinton, who served as the top U.S. diplomat from 2009 to 2013, jeopardized classified information by using a private email server rather than a government one.
BYESVILLE — A Meadowbrook High School student removed from class last Friday for being intoxicated is now facing a felony charge after allegedly threatening to shoot people if the previous incident harmed his chances to join a branch of the United States military.
Gabriel D. Blackledge, 18, of Cambridge, is facing one count of making terrorist threats, a third-degree felony, filed by the Guernsey County Sheriff's Office on Thursday. Blackledge remained incarcerated in the county jail on a $250,000 bond with no 10 percent allowed, according to the sheriff's office's website.