Before I start this post, I want to be clear that it brings me no joy to write this.
But dear reader, this is the path I’ve chosen, and therefore it is my duty to inform you that the official Twitter account of Fort Bragg, one of the largest military installations in the country, became extremely horny on Wednesday.
(Mom, I’m sorry.)
In response to a naked photo from the same Twitter user, who tweeted “your boner’s [point of view],” the Fort Bragg account responded…well, graphically.
Col. Joe Buccino, the spokesman for 18th Airborne Corps which is headquartered at Fort Bragg, originally told Task & Purpose that they believed the account was hacked. But on Thursday, he said that during an investigation, “an administrator for the account identified himself as the source of the tweets.”
“Appropriate action is underway,” Buccino said.
Shortly after the graphic tweets on Thursday, the Fort Bragg Twitter account tweeted an apology reiterating the hacking claim.
“This was not the work of our admins,” the tweet said.
Moments later, the entire Fort Bragg Twitter account disappeared:
Buccino said on Thursday that the account “will be restored in the coming days.”
While Fort Bragg’s horny tweet has since been deleted, the mental scarring I now have from seeing it will be eternal.
In the meantime, congratulations to Fort Bragg, home of the 82nd Airborne and U.S. special operations forces, for its new title of America’s Horniest Military Base. We would’ve figured it was Fort Bliss.
Related: The Air Force photoshopped Shia LaBeouf’s face onto a B-52 for some reason
Update: This story was updated on Oct. 22 to include Col. Joe Buccino’s statement that the account was not hacked.
