Watch The USS Abraham Lincoln Turn On A Dime On The Open Seas

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The USS Abraham Lincoln is objectively not the most nimble vehicle in the Pentagon’s arsenal. At 1,092 feet long, 252 feet wide and nearly 1,000 tons of naval engineering expertise, the nuclear-powered Nimitz-class aircraft carrier wasn’t designed to chase Russian submarines or blow up Somali pirates, but to serve as a floating hub for American airpower across the planet. Its motto of “shall not perish,” culled from Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, is no wishful thinking: the Lincoln wasn’t just built to fight, but endure.


But just because the Lincoln’s hauling hundreds of tons of high-tech equipment, dozens of aircraft, and thousands of sailors doesn’t mean the carrier can’t turn on a fucking dime at more than 30 knots. Just watch this brief yet delicious Navy video of the Lincoln performing high-speed turns in the Atlantic Ocean.

OK, sure, it’s not totally the same as watching a third-generation Soviet-made T-80 battle tank pull off turns ripped from “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” — technically, the Lincoln’s pulling off a totally different kind of “drift” than the type Japanese street racers talk about, but that’s a conversation for another day. There’s still something awe-inspiring about watching a massive piece of the Pentagon’s power-projection apparatus doing tricks on the open sea.

It certainly beats the hell out of this bullshit from “Battleship.”

It sure would be nice to know what the hell is going on in Afghanistan. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo recently claimed the U.S. military had killed more than 1,000 Taliban fighters in little more than a week – because body counts worked so well in Vietnam – and President Donald Trump said during his speech commemorating the 18th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks that the United States had gone on the offensive against the Taliban.

"The last four days, we have hit our enemy harder than they have ever been hit before, and that will continue," Trump said, without elaborating further.

It's clear that Afghanistan is the new hotness, but the only people who aren't talking about how the strategic situation has changed since Trump abruptly ended peace talks with the Taliban via tweet are the U.S. military leaders in charge of actually fighting the war.

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"My father always wanted the last laugh," daughter Monique Heller said.

The Essex volunteer firefighter and self-described local "dawg kecher" died on Sept. 8 at age 82, and the off-color obituary written by his youngest daughter has become a nationwide sensation — a lead item on cable news sites, a top story on The Courant's website and a post shared far and wide on social media.

Laced with bawdy humor, the irreverent but loving obit captured Heller's highly inappropriate nature and his golden heart, friends who filled the fire station for a celebration of his life on Thursday evening said.

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A 19-year-old man who planned a July mass shooting at a West Lubbock hotel that was thwarted by his grandmother was upset that he was considered "defective" by the military when he was discharged for his mental illness, according to court records.

William Patrick Williams faces federal charges for reportedly lying on an application to buy the semiautomatic rifle he planned to use in a shooting, according to a federal indictment filed Aug. 14.

He is charged with a federal felony count of making a false material statement during the purchase of a firearm on July 11, a day before he planned to lure people out of a hotel and shoot them. The charge carries a punishment of up to five years in prison.

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