SHARE

Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte hates many things. Drugs. Gambling. God. Now we can add the global scourge of Canada to his hit list.

The perennially furious strongman on Tuesday threatened to go to war against Canada over 103 container vans containing some 2,450 tons of “plastic scrap metal” illegally shipped to the Philippines by Canadian-based firm Chronic Plastics between 2013 and 2014, CNN Philippines reports.

“For Canada's garbage, I want a boat prepared. They better pull that thing out, or I will set sail to Canada and dump their garbage there,” Duterte said during a Tuesday briefing. “Let's fight Canada. We'll declare war against them, we can handle them anyway.”

“Garbage is coming home. The others, around five trucks, dump it in front of the Canadian embassy. The world runs on arrogance.”


President Rodrigo Duterte speaks after his arrival, from a visit in Israel and Jordan at Davao International airport in Davao City in southern Philippines, September 8, 2018.

Indo-Pacific photo

(Reuters/Lean Daval Jr)

We'll let Duterte's sound and fury speak for itself, but it's worth noting that it took longer for the Task & Purpose team to come up with the right headline for this article than it took to write the article itself. So, in the interest of transparency, here is a list of headlines that didn't quite work:

  • The president of the Philippines says he's going to declare war on Canada if they don't pick up their trash
  • Trash talking Philippine dictator threatens war with Canada if they don't take out the garbage
  • Neat freak Philippine strong man threatens to declare war on Canada if they don't reclaim their refuse
  • The president of the Philippines channeled his inner a-hole 1st Sgt. by threatening war because someone didn't pick up trash
  • Philippine strongman threatening Canada with war over garbage proves 2019 is a raging dumpster fire
  • Philippine president vows to go Tony Soprano on Canada over friggin' garbage
  • Duterte tells Canada to take out the papers and the trash, or they won't get no spending cash
  • Philippines' Duterte to Canada: Get off your lazy ass and take out the trash cans
  • 'I want this place looking like Disney on Ice in FIVE MINUTES!' Philippines' Duterte yells at Canada
  • Cleanliness is next to godliness, Philippines claims on eve of war with Canada
  • Duterte threatens to banish Canada to ash heap of history
  • Philippines' Duterte to Canada: take back this garbage or you're fucking dead

SEE ALSO: US And Philippine Troops Are Training To Repel An Island Invasion Amid South China Sea Tensions

WATCH NEXT: The Top 5 Bases That Should Be Deployments

Jared Keller
Jared Keller

Jared Keller is the former managing editor of Task & Purpose. His writing has appeared in Aeon, the Los Angeles Review of Books, the New Republic, Pacific Standard, Smithsonian, and The Washington Post, among other publications. Contact the author here.

Indo-Pacific
Region & Country
Tactics
Warfare
indo-pacific command